Book of Etiquette, Volume 2 by Lillian Eichler Watson


Main
- books.jibble.org



My Books
- IRC Hacks

Misc. Articles
- Meaning of Jibble
- M4 Su Doku
- Computer Scrapbooking
- Setting up Java
- Bootable Java
- Cookies in Java
- Dynamic Graphs
- Social Shakespeare

External Links
- Paul Mutton
- Jibble Photo Gallery
- Jibble Forums
- Google Landmarks
- Jibble Shop
- Free Books
- Intershot Ltd

books.jibble.org

Previous Page | Next Page

Page 17

But the American guest does not have to determine whether he is superior
to his host and hostess--or the opposite. It is already decided for him,
by the laws of etiquette. For the guest at the formal dinner must accord
every respect and honor to his host and hostess not in the servile manner
of the coolie towards the mandarin, of course--but in the captivating and
charming manner that bespeaks the fine lady and gentleman.

COMMENTS ON FOOD

Men and women of cultivation rarely make comments on food except to
praise. It is better to accept a little of each course on one's place
and eat a bit of it although one does not particularly care for it, than
to refuse it entirely. A highly amusing story is related of a guest who
was invited to a formal dinner given by a prominent New York woman who
had gained a reputation for the savory qualities of the soups she served.
On this occasion she was especially proud of her Grun Yung Waa
(Bird's-Nest Soup)--and really, from all reports, it must have been
remarkably delicious. But the guest we are writing about, sniffed at the
soup disdainfully and asked, "Is this some of that new canned soup they
are advertising?" The hostess blushed--as any conscientious hostess
would--and the next time she issued invitations for dinner, she somehow
forgot to include the guest who read the advertisements so diligently.

SECOND HELPINGS

A guest at a formal dinner should never ask for a second helping of any
dish. This holds equally true for an elaborate luncheon. However, the
host or hostess may offer to provide a second helping to any one of the
guests who has disposed of his first helping. In this case, the guest
may acknowledge it with a smile, or if his appetite is entirely
satisfied, he may refuse it with a polite word of thanks.

To insist, on the part of the host, after the guest has refused a second
helping, is overdoing the bounds of hospitality, and perilously borders
on the verge of incivility.

THE MENU

The hostess must be careful not to apologize profusely for things which
are not as she would like to have them; it is better form completely to
ignore the fact that the salad is not crisp enough or that the entree is
too highly seasoned. The entire time spent at table should be no more
than an hour and a half. An hour is usually sufficient if the courses
are served with expedition. But there must be no semblance of haste.

Good cook books are full of suggestions for delectable menus and for the
order of service. The butler or maid takes complete charge and it is
better to have a less elaborate dinner than to have so many courses that
he or she cannot manage without haste, noise, or confusion. The order of
service depends upon the number of courses. The cook book will help
here, also. Generally speaking, oysters on the half shell buried in ice,
a cocktail, or a fruit cup constitutes the first course. This is
followed by soup, game or fish, a salad, the roast and vegetables,
dessert and coffee.

In presenting the first course the lady at the right of the host is
served first. After that the order is varied so that the same person
will not be served last every time. The butler serves dishes from the
left and removes them from the right. No plates for any course are
removed until everyone has finished. It is not necessary to wait until
everyone is served to begin eating but it is most vulgar to show undue
haste.

It is the duty of the butler to keep the glasses filled with water and to
see that nuts, bonbons, etc., are passed frequently.

When fruit is served, the butler places a glass dessert plate on which is
an embroidered doily and finger-bowl, before each guest, and next to it a
small fruit knife. Then the fruits are offered to each guest; and when
the hostess is quite sure that everyone has finished, she makes the sign
for retiring. The usual manner of doing this, is to catch the eye of the
lady who is the partner of her husband for the evening, nod and smile to
her, and they both rise together, followed immediately by the other women
guests. They adjourn to the drawing-room, where coffee is served and
light conversation ensues until the men join them. The latter, in the
meanwhile, remain in the dining-room to smoke their cigars and drink
their coffee. Usually they will leave their original seats and move up
to the end of the table, gathering around the host, whose duty it now is
to entertain them and to keep pleasant conversation going. Fifteen
minutes is an ample time for the gentlemen to smoke and chat by
themselves. Then they are expected to join the ladies in the
drawing-room.

Previous Page | Next Page


Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Fri 24th Oct 2025, 14:54