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Page 19
This Prince, tho' of a very advanced Age, has been represented, both
by the Reports of his Ministers, and others, as a Person of great
Incontinency, in which I think he was injured; for tho' he pass'd
most of his private Hours only in the Company of the _Vultuaquilian
Squabbaws_ (so call'd from the Province where they were born) he did it,
partly because of his long Accquaintance with them, and partly to hinder
the too frequent Visits of the first Minister, who scarce ever came into
his Presence, but to importune him, for new Grants and Promotions for
Himself and Family; and as to the _Cacklogallinian Squabbaws_, he
sometimes admitted them to please their Husbands and Relations, who
flatter themselves with an imaginary Honour, to have their Wives and
Daughters near him. I have good Grounds for what I advance; for I was
Five Years in his Court, and frequently convers'd with his _Squabbaws_.
This won't I hope, be thought a piece of Vanity in me, when the Reader
reflects, that I was look'd upon as a Monkey is with our
Ladies.
The Emperor was highly delighted with the Present his Minister made him,
and order'd all possible Care to be taken of me. My Lord told him I
might be as useful to his Majesty as my Make was curious, for he found
me very intelligent, learning the Languages with great Facility, and
that it was possible I might be serviceable in extending his Dominions,
by bringing that Part of the World, which my Species inhabited, in
Subjection to his Imperial Majesty.
_Have they_, said the Emperor, _any Gold among them?_ I took the
Liberty of assuring his Majesty, that we were the richest Nation in the
Universe; that by our Trade, which never was so flourishing as at this
Time, we brought in immense Quantities of that valuable Metal, and that
we suffer'd none to be exported. _It may then_, replied his Majesty, _be
worth our while, one Day to think of this._
The Emperor order'd me to be conducted to an Apartment, and Leave was
given to all the _Vultuaquilian_ first, and _Cacklogallinian_ Quality,
to see me the next Day. I had every thing I could wish provided for me,
and a Month after I had been at Court, I had the Liberty of the Palace,
and the Emperor would often call me into his Closet (as he found I was
not ignorant in Arithmetick) to help him weigh and count his Wedges of
Gold, and set down the Number, Weight and Value of each Piece; for this
was a Diversion in which he amused himself.
This Prince was not very curious, for in the five Years I was in his
Court, he scarce ever asked me one Question concerning the _Europeans_;
nor was he in one Respect the Bubble of his Favourites, for I never saw
him give one Piece of Gold to any of them, even the _Squabbaws_.
The Grandees, who perceived me grow in Favour so far, as that the Jay
was turn'd out of Court for his Sawciness to me, which he redoubled
after his having been confined, strove who shou'd shew me the most
Respect, and make me the greatest Professions of friendship. They not
only offer'd me their Purses, but even their Wives and Daughters, whom
they often left with me and whose Immodesty has often put me to the
Blush. Nay, a _Boutofallalian_, a Title answering to our Duke, told me,
if I continued this Shyness, and would not do him the Honour to pass now
and then an Hour with his Lady, he shou'd not take me for his Friend;
and leaving her with me, he lock'd the Door.
Her Grace was as generous as her Spouse; and when I urg'd the Difference
of our Species, she said, she was satisfied that wou'd be no Impediment,
by what she had seen, for I had indeed no other Covering than a Mantle,
and both his Majesty and his _Squabbaws_ took a Pleasure to teaze me, by
pulling it off, and leaving me naked in a full Circle. In short, I was
forc'd to save my self by the Window being on a Ground Floor, after all
my Excuses were to no Purpose: But fearing the Lady's Resentment, I
begg'd the Minister, exaggerating her Husband's Merits, to give him a
Pension, and I my self carried and delivered the Grant to her Grace,
which made my Peace with both.
One Day, an old Colonel, who was very poor, accosted me in the Emperor's
Garden. _My Lord_, said he, _I beg you will vouchsafe me an Audience of
Quarter of an Hour; I shall look upon it as the greatest Condescension
in you, and as the greatest Honour done me._ I told him he mistook my
Title, and gave me one I never did aspire to; but that I was very ready
to hear and serve him, for I had seen him often at Court offering
Petitions, which were always rejected, and I had a Compassion for him.
"Your Goodness, _said he_, can alone be equalled by your Modesty;
give me Leave then to tell you, I have served long and faithfully
in the late Wars against the _Owls_ and _Magpyes_, but to my great
Surprize, at my Return home; my Regiment, without any Fault
alledg'd, was taken from me, and given to a _Valet de Chambre_ who
had never seen an Enemy; his Master was a _Boutofallalian_, had a
Mind to reward his Pimp, and all that I cou'd say, might as well
have been let alone. I had no Estate but what I sold, and gave to a
Courtier to get this Regiment, after I had served many Years as a
Captain, without the least Blemish in my Character. I have since
been in almost a starving Condition, and have wearied my self out
with Petitions to no Purpose; for if any, as very few, were
received, they were never answered, and perhaps never read. I have
therefore no Hopes but what are founded on your Charity: I see it
vain to hope for Employment, and shall change my Suit to that of
being put into the Hospital of the _Meritorians_ (_which in
_English_, signifies disabled and superannuated Soldiers_) I
beg your Compassion for a most unfortunate and perishing Man, who
has served his Prince and Country with Fidelity, and on several
Occasions has distinguish'd himself, as Your Honour will be
satisfied, if you will take the Pains to examine these Certificates."
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