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Page 5
Jimmy says the beads of perspiration stood on the chimney-sweep's
face like ink. The chimney-sweep told Jimmy that he was travelling the
country sweeping chimneys; but Jimmy said that they had already had
theirs swept, because a cat got in their dining-room and Jimmy had put
in his bloodhound to tell it to go out.
Jimmy says they looked everywhere for the algebra book, but couldn't
find it, and they were just giving up in despair when they heard
Jimmy's bloodhound wrestling with something in his kennel, and there
it was.
Old Faithful had worked half-way through the algebra and was busy
solving simultaneous equations whilst sitting on the War Loan.
[Illustration: _Scandalised N.S. Volunteer_. "'INDENBURG's WATCHIN'
YER!"]
Jimmy says his bloodhound looked so disappointed when they took the
algebra book from him that Jones minimus gave it him back again, as he
said it was no good to him, and perhaps Faithful would find out how to
catch another German spy, or else how to make up the War Loan to 15s.
6d.
Jimmy says his bloodhound did enjoy the algebra, and the way he
tackled several pages of harder problems made old Jones minimus's
mouth water.
Jimmy says Faithful had finished the problems and was just beginning
to chew some quadratics when he looked up and there was the milkman's
pig calmly standing in the garden next door, looking at him through
the hedge and actually munching a piece of coal at him.
Jimmy says it made his bloodhound chew algebra like anything, and when
the pig began flapping his ears at him old Faithful had to go right
into the far corner of his kennel and nurse his wrath.
Jimmy says that bloodhounds have been known to kill a pig in a very
short time; but the pig didn't seem to know this, when Jones minimus
and Jimmy took hold of the kennel and shook out Faithful at him.
Jimmy says the pig just turned on its heel and walked round the garden
sampling things and inquiring into them.
Jimmy says that Faithful is a good sampler too, and when the pig saw
him they tried to sample each other. Faithful thought he was chasing
the pig, and the pig thought he was chasing Faithful, and they did it
in a ring on the lawn.
Jimmy says he could see they were both working themselves up, because
the pig went up to a standard rose-tree and scratched his back at
Jimmy's bloodhound, whilst Faithful kept smelling the ground like
anything.
Jimmy says the pig is a sacred animal to the natives of some places,
but it wasn't to the man who owned the garden; he came out and accused
it of being there.
Jimmy told him that if you placed a pig in the middle of a lake it
always cut its throat when it tried to swim out. But the man hadn't
got a lake, he had only got an ornamental fountain, and the pig had
already scratched that over with its back. The pig seemed very uneasy
about its back, Jimmy says.
Jimmy says the man offered Jones minimus a shilling if he would remove
the pig and that piebald anteater from the garden in five minutes.
Jimmy says Jones minimus is a very good pig-remover, and he thinks it
must be a gift with him. Jimmy says the pig was very much surprised at
Jones minimus, and it wanted to go home and get to bed.
Jimmy says the pig trod on Faithful's toe as they both squeezed
through the gate together, and Faithful pulled the pig's ear, and then
they both went down the road, Faithful leading by about a yard, and
looking behind him with both eyes to make sure the pig was following
him. Jimmy says his bloodhound was working beautifully, and when the
pig stopped to smell one end of a cabbage-stalk which was lying in
the gutter old Faithful, with his nose to the ground, his ears hanging
slightly forward, and his eyes looking upwards, crept slowly back and
deliberately smelt at the other end. It was grand, Jimmy says. There
they stood in silent contest for about five seconds, each trying to
bend the other to his will, till the pig could stand the strain no
longer, and, breaking away with all its strength, actually rushed into
the garden of the man who had promised to shoot it at sight next time.
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