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Page 6
Jimmy says you might have thought the pig owned the garden until the
man came out. It rooted up wall-flowers and bit off tulips and browsed
on some early peas and was making a regular meatless day of it, and
then the man came rushing out with his gun.
Jimmy says that he and Jones minimus had to duck down, because the man
was so excited; he kept rushing about, talking about things and aiming
his gun at the pig, and the pig kept running round and round and
getting mixed up with Faithful. Then just as Jimmy was expecting the
gun to go off the chimney-sweep suddenly came round some laurels from
the back part of the house, with a bag of soot on his shoulders, and
walked right into the middle of it all.
Jimmy says the way his bloodhound had worked it all out made
even Jones minimus gasp. There was the pig being puzzled at the
chimney-sweep's face; there was the man with his double-barrelled
gun pointed straight at the chimney-sweep, and there was the
chimney-sweep, with both hands up in the air, shouting "Kamerad!" as
hard as he could.
Jones minimus couldn't get over it. To think that Jimmy's bloodhound
had actually made up the War Loan to 15s. 6d., and caught a German spy
at the same time, with nothing more to work with than a pig! Of course
Jimmy knew how old Faithful had done it, but then he knew what
a really prize bloodhound is capable of. It was the simultaneous
equations, of course.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Newcomer_ (_to veteran sanitary orderly_). "ARE YOU
THE REG'LAR GARD'NER, OR JUST IN FOR THE DAY?"]
* * * * *
"Scheinboden, who is very well known as a partisan of the
'Mailed Fish.'"--_Manchester Evening News_.
The very man for a submarine campaign.
* * * * *
"The main goal for which our troops went was the Oppy switch
line, a hastily constructed main goal for which our troops
went was the Oppy switch line, a hastily constructed trench
system by which the Germans have extended their Hindenburg
line northwards."--_Sunday Paper_.
Some of our contemporary's own lines seem also to have been rather
hastily constructed.
* * * * *
NATIONAL SERVICE;
OR, THE SINGLE EYE.
Good Jones, who saw his duty plain,
Resolved he would not live in vain;
He bought some land and made a start,
He gave up literature and art,
He studied books on what to grow,
He studied Mr. PROTHERO;
He worked from early dawn till ten,
Then went to town like other men,
And in his office he would stand
Expatiating on the land.
Prom five again he worked till eight,
Although it made his dinner late;
He could not tear himself away,
He could not leave his native clay.
At last, his energy all spent,
He put his tools away and went,
Took off his suit of muddy tan,
Became a clean and cultured man,
And settled firmly down to dine.
On fish and fowl and meat and wine
And bread as much as he might need;
And while he dined he used to read
What PROTHERO had said last night,
And felt that he was doing right.
He didn't notice food was short;
He quite forgot Lord DEVONPORT.
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