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Page 4
Yours anxiously."
III.
Sometimes I wonder what Mr. Perkins would say if I suggested paying
half-rent during the winter.
Sometimes Celia wonders what she will say if she finds that Mrs.
Winkle has re-arranged all her furniture for her.
"We might," said Celia, looking at the two letters, "send the Perkins
one to Mrs. Winkle and the Winkle one to Mr. Perkins."
"Why?" I asked.
"Just to show how broad-minded we are," said Celia.
A.A.M.
* * * * *
ECONOMY.
Seen in a Birmingham shop window:
"SECOND & FURNITURE."
* * * * *
[Illustration: A BAD DREAM.
SPECTRE. "WELL, IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE LOOK OF ME, EAT LESS BREAD."]
* * * * *
ON THE SPY-TRAIL.
Jimmy says he thought there must he something the matter with Jones
minimus, he was so gloomy.
He actually told Jimmy that he wished he was in heaven. Jimmy had to
tell him not to say such wicked things, because sometimes when you
wished things like that they came true, and then where would Jones
minimus be?
Jimmy says it takes a lot to make Jones minimus gloomy, but it turned
out that he had lost the War Loan; he had either lost or mislaid it,
he told Jimmy.
It was on a card, and Jones minimus only wanted another shilling to
make 15s. 6d., and then in five years they gave you one pound, and it
was because of the compound interest someone invented.
Jimmy says as they were talking the milkman came up and asked if they
had seen his pig. The milkman is always losing his pig. Jimmy says it
wanders off for a walk nearly every day talking to itself and going
into gardens and relishing things. It is a very good relisher, Jimmy
says.
Jimmy says the milkman's pig is being talked about in home circles;
but it doesn't seem to mind, it just goes on its way.
You can always tell the milkman's pig by the black spot on its back.
Jimmy says he knows a man who is going to shoot the pig at sight next
time.
Jimmy was just telling the milkman that he ought to put butter on its
feet to make it stay at home, when Jones minimus suddenly remembered.
He had put the War Loan in his algebra book and left it in Jimmy's
garden. Jimmy says it was a good thing they went back when they did,
because when he got home he found his bloodhound, Faithful, busy
suspecting a chimney-sweep of being a spy; he had done it to the
chimney-sweep's trousers, Jimmy says.
Jimmy says the chimney-sweep was doing bayonet exercises with his
brush at Faithful and working his black face at him.
Jimmy says the chimney-sweep had evidently never seen a prize
bloodhound before, because when Jimmy came up he stood on guard, and
in a frightened whisper said to him, "What is it?"
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