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Page 17
"And for Miss Penclosa's nerves as well. You have
heard that she is ill?"
"No."
"Mrs. Wilson told us so last night. She described it
as a nervous fever. Professor Wilson is coming back this
week, and of course Mrs. Wilson is very anxious that
Miss Penclosa should be well again then, for he has
quite a programme of experiments which he is anxious to
carry out."
I was glad to have Agatha's promise, for it was enough
that this woman should have one of us in her clutch.
On the other hand, I was disturbed to hear about Miss
Penclosa's illness. It rather discounts the victory
which I appeared to win last night. I remember that
she said that loss of health interfered with her power.
That may be why I was able to hold my own so easily.
Well, well, I must take the same precautions to-night
and see what comes of it. I am childishly frightened
when I think of her.
April 10. All went very well last night. I was amused
at the gardener's face when I had again to hail him
this morning and to ask him to throw up my key. I
shall get a name among the servants if this sort of
thing goes on. But the great point is that I stayed in
my room without the slightest inclination to leave it.
I do believe that I am shaking myself clear of this
incredible bond--or is it only that the woman's power
is in abeyance until she recovers her strength? I can
but pray for the best.
The Mardens left this morning, and the brightness seems
to have gone out of the spring sunshine. And yet it is
very beautiful also as it gleams on the green chestnuts
opposite my windows, and gives a touch of gayety to the
heavy, lichen-mottled walls of the old colleges. How
sweet and gentle and soothing is Nature! Who would
think that there lurked in her also such vile forces,
such odious possibilities! For of course I understand
that this dreadful thing which has sprung out at me is
neither supernatural nor even preternatural. No, it is
a natural force which this woman can use and society is
ignorant of. The mere fact that it ebbs with her
strength shows how entirely it is subject to physical
laws. If I had time, I might probe it to the bottom
and lay my hands upon its antidote. But you cannot
tame the tiger when you are beneath his claws. You can
but try to writhe away from him. Ah, when I look in
the glass and see my own dark eyes and clear-cut
Spanish face, I long for a vitriol splash or a bout of
the small-pox. One or the other might have saved me
from this calamity.
I am inclined to think that I may have trouble to-
night. There are two things which make me fear so.
One is that I met Mrs. Wilson in the street, and that
she tells me that Miss Penclosa is better, though still
weak. I find myself wishing in my heart that the
illness had been her last. The other is that Professor
Wilson comes back in a day or two, and his presence
would act as a constraint upon her. I should not fear
our interviews if a third person were present. For
both these reasons I have a presentiment of trouble to-
night, and I shall take the same precautions as before.
April 10. No, thank God, all went well last night. I
really could not face the gardener again. I locked my
door and thrust the key underneath it, so that I had to
ask the maid to let me out in the morning. But the
precaution was really not needed, for I never had any
inclination to go out at all. Three evenings in
succession at home! I am surely near the end of my
troubles, for Wilson will be home again either today or
tomorrow. Shall I tell him of what I have gone through
or not? I am convinced that I should not have the
slightest sympathy from him. He would look upon me as
an interesting case, and read a paper about me at the
next meeting of the Psychical Society, in which he
would gravely discuss the possibility of my being a
deliberate liar, and weigh it against the chances of my
being in an early stage of lunacy. No, I shall get no
comfort out of Wilson.
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