|
Main
- books.jibble.org
My Books
- IRC Hacks
Misc. Articles
- Meaning of Jibble
- M4 Su Doku
- Computer Scrapbooking
- Setting up Java
- Bootable Java
- Cookies in Java
- Dynamic Graphs
- Social Shakespeare
External Links
- Paul Mutton
- Jibble Photo Gallery
- Jibble Forums
- Google Landmarks
- Jibble Shop
- Free Books
- Intershot Ltd
|
books.jibble.org
Previous Page
| Next Page
Page 9
As we have seen, JACK HORNER is an historical personage; Christmas-pies
are historical; and dainties with plums are historical. JACK was an old
man, doubtless, when our great-grandmothers were very young--certainly
before the war. The world has had full opportunity to profit by his
virtuous example. Numberless little boys have been quieted to sleep by
the rhyme of JACK HORNER judiciously applied, and numberless little
ones, clamorous for more pudding and enlarged privileges at the
dinner-table, owe the success of their appeals to this same HORNER. The
moral, which runs all through the narrative, is one by which the world
may profit, and should. It la a good thing; but like a great many things
that are good, in the sense in which we use the word, not relished. We
much fear that the ancient, the historical JACK, is extinct. He was a
moderate JACK. He only put in his _thumb_, when he might as well have
put in his whole hand. The latter-day JACK is the representative of a
numerous class possessing larger capacity and a greater dynamic
capability. His pie is larger--has more and bigger plums. When we
contrast the present JACK with the past, we blush for the comparison.
When we encounter him in civic office or in the revenue service, we
tremble for the plums. He is grasping, remorseless, ambitious. The old
JACK was satisfied to sit in his corner and eat his pie; but this one
seeks a pie of dimensions so extravagant as to fill the remotest corners
of the globe; and, what is worse, he is--any thing but a Good Boy!
* * * * *
A Voice from "the Hub."
A GRATULATORY Bostonian writes us that PUNCHINELLO'S voice (a Great
Organ, truly) has reached the "Hub," and actually silenced the Great
Organ of that pleasant rural town. So far, good; but he adds that
Massachusetts takes umbrage at the first syllable of our name, on
account of its being at variance with the prohibitory law of that
pleasant but Puritanical State. Certainly, in a moral point of view, it
is better to be in a Puritanical State than in a State of Punch; but
Massachusetts, it is said, is very sly about the liquor business, and
takes her "nips," regularly, behind the door. This may account,
probably, for the "nipping air" by which so many of her denizens are
characterized. The Bostonian further states of the inhabitants of the
"Hub," that "liquor finds little favor in their eyes." Now, we are
acquainted with three thousand four hundred and seventy-three Bostonians
of the most solid "stripe," and we never yet knew one of them put liquor
in his _eye_, wherever else he might stow it. That the great Boston I
may be partially the result of liquor, is admissible; but then no true
Bostonian would call it liquor, you see--he would call it I water.
* * * * *
Why, Oh! Why?
Why has NAPOLEON III. a very salty taste just now? Because he prefers
his hash with THIERS and without GR�VY.
* * * * *
An Established Fact.
The British Association have received �1055 toward a practical and
comprehensive inquiry into the utilization of sewage. Bless your British
associated hearts! The _Herald_ has demonstrated that long ago--made
editorials of it.
* * * * *
Rather Mixed.
The _Jersey City Journal_ of April 1st, (appropriate date,) contains the
following advertisement:
"A few gentlemen can be accommodated with good board, washing, and
ironing; or a gentleman and wife. Terms, $6 per week; or two single
ladies. Apply at --, corner of Newark avenue."
According to this advertisement, it appears that in Jersey a "gentleman
and wife" are legal substitutes for "board, washing, and ironing." Now,
it is bewildering to think how on earth a "gentleman and wife" could be
made available in lieu of washing and ironing; while, on the other hand,
the idea of serving up a "gentleman and wife" as "board," suggests the
horrible idea that cannibalism is practised in New-Jersey. With regard
to the terms, "$6 per week" seems to be reasonable enough, though how
"two single ladies" can be made legal tender for six dollars is
absolutely maddening to the mind, inasmuch as average spinsters are far
more apt to be tough than tender.
Previous Page
| Next Page
|
|