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Page 46
Jonathan. I can't guess what you would insinuate, for I believe no
woman had ever less reason to complain of her husband's want of
fondness.
Laetitia. Then some, I am certain, have great reason to complain
of the price they give for them. But I know better things. (These
words were spoken with a very great air, and toss of the head.)
Jonathan. Well, my sweeting, I will make it impossible for you to
wish me more fond.
Laetitia. Pray, Mr. Wild, none of this nauseous behaviour, nor
those odious words. I wish you were fond! I assure you, I don't
know what you would pretend to insinuate of me. I have no wishes
which misbecome a virtuous woman. No, nor should not, if I had
married for love. And especially now, when nobody, I am sure, can
suspect me of any such thing.
Jonathan. If you did not marry for love why did you marry?
Laetitia. Because it was convenient, and my parents forced me.
Jonathan. I hope, madam, at least, you will not tell me to my face
you have made your convenience of me.
Laetitia. I have made nothing of you; nor do I desire the honour
of making anything of you.
Jonathan. Yes, you have made a husband of me.
Laetitia. No, you made yourself so; for I repeat once more it was
not my desire, but your own.
Jonathan. You should think yourself obliged to me for that desire.
Laetitia. La, sir! you was not so singular in it. I was not in
despair. I have had other offers, and better too.
Jonathan. I wish you had accepted them with all my heart.
Laetitia. I must tell you, Mr. Wild, this is a very brutish manner
in treating a woman to whom you have such obligations; but I know
how to despise it, and to despise you too for shewing it me.
Indeed I am well enough paid for the foolish preference I gave to
you. I flattered myself that I should at least have been used with
good manners. I thought I had married a gentleman; but I find you
every way contemptible and below my concern.
Jonathan. D--n you, madam, have I not more reason to complain when
you tell me you married for your convenience only?
Laetitia. Very fine truly. Is it behaviour worthy a man to swear
at a woman? Yet why should I mention what comes from a wretch whom
I despise.
Jonathan. Don't repeat that word so often. I despise you as
heartily as you can me. And, to tell you a truth, I married you
for my convenience likewise, to satisfy a passion which I have now
satisfied, and you may be d--d for anything I care.
Laetitia. The world shall know how barbarously I am treated by
such a villain.
Jonathan. I need take very little pains to acquaint the world what
a b--ch you are, your actions will demonstrate it.
Laetitia. Monster! I would advise you not to depend too much on my
sex, and provoke me too far; for I can do you a mischief, and
will, if you dare use me so, you villain!
Jonathan. Begin whenever you please, madam; but assure yourself,
the moment you lay aside the woman, I will treat you as such no
longer; and if the first blow is yours, I promise you the last
shall be mine.
Laetitia. Use me as you will; but d--n me if ever you shall use me
as a woman again; for may I be cursed if ever I enter into your
bed more.
Jonathan. May I be cursed if that abstinence be not the greatest
obligation you can lay upon me; for I assure you faithfully your
person was all I had ever any regard for; and that I now loathe
and detest as much as ever I liked it.
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