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Page 24
CHAPTER FOUR
IN WHICH WILD, AFTER MANY FRUITLESS ENDEAVOURS TO DISCOVER HIS
FRIEND, MORALISES ON HIS MISFORTUNE IN A SPEECH, WHICH MAY BE OF
USE (IF RIGHTLY UNDERSTOOD) TO SOME OTHER CONSIDERABLE SPEECH-
MAKERS.
Not the highest-fed footman of the highest-bred woman of quality
knocks with more impetuosity than Wild did at the count's door,
which was immediately opened by a well-drest liveryman, who
answered that his master was not at home. Wild, not satisfied with
this, searched the house, but to no purpose; he then ransacked all
the gaming-houses in town, but found no count: indeed, that
gentleman had taken leave of his house the same instant Mr. Wild
had turned his back, and, equipping himself with boots and a post-
horse, without taking with him either servant, clothes, or any
necessaries for the journey of a great man, made such mighty
expedition that he was now upwards of twenty miles on his way to
Dover.
Wild, finding his search ineffectual, resolved to give it over for
that night; he then retired to his seat of contemplation, a night-
cellar, where, without a single farthing in his pocket, he called
for a sneaker of punch, and, placing himself on a bench by
himself, he softly vented the following soliloquy:--
"How vain is human GREATNESS! What avail superior abilities, and a
noble defiance of those narrow rules and bounds which confine the
vulgar, when his best-concerted schemes are liable to be defeated!
How unhappy is the state of PRIGGISM! How impossible for human
prudence to foresee and guard against every circumvention! It is
even as a game of chess, where, while the rook, or knight, or
bishop, is busied forecasting some great enterprize, a worthless
pawn exposes and disconcerts his scheme. Better had it been for me
to have observed the simple laws of friendship and morality than
thus to ruin my friend for the benefit of others. I might have
commanded his purse to any degree of moderation: I have now
disabled him from the power of serving me. Well! but that was not
my design. If I cannot arraign my own conduct, why should I, like
a woman or a child, sit down and lament the disappointment of
chance? But can I acquit myself of all neglect? Did I not
misbehave in putting it into the power of others to outwit me? But
that is impossible to be avoided. In this a prig is more unhappy
than any other: a cautious man may, in a crowd, preserve his own
pockets by keeping his hands in them; but while the prig employs
his hands in another's pocket, how shall he be able to defend his
own? Indeed, in this light, what can be imagined more miserable
than a prig? How dangerous are his acquisitions! how unsafe, how
unquiet his possessions! Why then should any man wish to be a
prig, or where is his greatness? I answer, in his mind: 'tis the
inward glory, the secret consciousness of doing great and
wonderful actions, which can alone support the truly GREAT man,
whether he be a CONQUEROR, a TYRANT, a STATESMAN, or a PRIG. These
must bear him up against the private curse and public imprecation,
and, while he is hated and detested by all mankind, must make him
inwardly satisfied with himself. For what but some such inward
satisfaction as this could inspire men possessed of power, wealth,
of every human blessing which pride, avarice, or luxury could
desire, to forsake their homes, abandon ease and repose, and at
the expense of riches and pleasures, at the price of labour and
hardship, and at the hazard of all that fortune hath liberally
given them, could send them at the head of a multitude of prigs,
called an army, to molest their neighbours; to introduce rape,
rapine, bloodshed, and every kind of misery among their own
species? What but some such glorious appetite of mind could
inflame princes, endowed with the greatest honours, and enriched
with the most plentiful revenues, to desire maliciously to rob
those subjects of their liberties who are content to sweat for the
luxury, and to bow down their knees to the pride, of those very
princes? What but this can inspire them to destroy one half of
their subjects, in order to reduce the rest to an absolute
dependence on their own wills, and on those of their brutal
successors? What other motive could seduce a subject, possessed of
great property in his community, to betray the interest of his
fellow-subjects, of his brethren, and his posterity, to the wanton
disposition of such princes? Lastly, what less inducement could
persuade the prig to forsake the methods of acquiring a safe, an
honest, and a plentiful livelihood, and, at the hazard of even
life itself, and what is mistaken called dishonour, to break
openly and bravely through the laws of his country, for uncertain,
unsteady, and unsafe gain? Let me then hold myself contented with
this reflection, that I have been wise though unsuccessful, and am
a CHEAT though an unhappy man."
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