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Page 16
There was.
Mr Rossiter had discovered Psmith's and Mike's absence about five
minutes after they had left the building. Ever since then, he had been
popping out of his lair at intervals of three minutes, to see whether
they had returned. Constant disappointment in this respect had rendered
him decidedly jumpy. When Psmith and Mike reached the desk, he was a
kind of human soda-water bottle. He fizzed over with questions,
reproofs, and warnings.
'What does it mean? What does it mean?' he cried. 'Where have you been?
Where have you been?'
'Poetry,' said Psmith approvingly.
'You have been absent from your places for over half an hour. Why? Why?
Why? Where have you been? Where have you been? I cannot have this. It
is preposterous. Where have you been? Suppose Mr Bickersdyke had
happened to come round here. I should not have known what to say to
him.'
'Never an easy man to chat with, Comrade Bickersdyke,' agreed Psmith.
'You must thoroughly understand that you are expected to remain in your
places during business hours.'
'Of course,' said Psmith, 'that makes it a little hard for Comrade
Jackson to post letters, does it not?'
'Have you been posting letters?'
'We have,' said Psmith. 'You have wronged us. Seeing our absent places
you jumped rashly to the conclusion that we were merely gadding about
in pursuit of pleasure. Error. All the while we were furthering the
bank's best interests by posting letters.'
'You had no business to leave your place. Jackson is on the posting
desk.'
'You are very right,' said Psmith, 'and it shall not occur again. It
was only because it was the first day, Comrade Jackson is not used to
the stir and bustle of the City. His nerve failed him. He shrank from
going to the post-office alone. So I volunteered to accompany him.
And,' concluded Psmith, impressively, 'we won safely through. Every
letter has been posted.'
'That need not have taken you half an hour.'
'True. And the actual work did not. It was carried through swiftly and
surely. But the nerve-strain had left us shaken. Before resuming our
more ordinary duties we had to refresh. A brief breathing-space, a
little coffee and porridge, and here we are, fit for work once more.'
'If it occurs again, I shall report the matter to Mr Bickersdyke.'
'And rightly so,' said Psmith, earnestly. 'Quite rightly so.
Discipline, discipline. That is the cry. There must be no shirking of
painful duties. Sentiment must play no part in business. Rossiter, the
man, may sympathise, but Rossiter, the Departmental head, must be
adamant.'
Mr Rossiter pondered over this for a moment, then went off on a
side-issue.
'What is the meaning of this foolery?' he asked, pointing to Psmith's
gloves and hat. 'Suppose Mr Bickersdyke had come round and seen them,
what should I have said?'
'You would have given him a message of cheer. You would have said, "All
is well. Psmith has not left us. He will come back. And Comrade
Bickersdyke, relieved, would have--"'
'You do not seem very busy, Mr Smith.'
Both Psmith and Mr Rossiter were startled.
Mr Rossiter jumped as if somebody had run a gimlet into him, and even
Psmith started slightly. They had not heard Mr Bickersdyke approaching.
Mike, who had been stolidly entering addresses in his ledger during the
latter part of the conversation, was also taken by surprise.
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