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Page 15
'You put the case with admirable clearness, Comrade Jackson,' said
Psmith approvingly. 'At the hard-headed, common-sense business you
sneak the biscuit every time with ridiculous case. But you do not know
all. I do not propose to do a thing in the bank except work. I shall be
a model as far as work goes. I shall be flawless. I shall bound to do
Comrade Rossiter's bidding like a highly trained performing dog. It is
outside the bank, when I have staggered away dazed with toil, that I
shall resume my attention to the education of Comrade Bickersdyke.'
'But, dash it all, how can you? You won't see him. He'll go off home,
or to his club, or--'
Psmith tapped him earnestly on the chest.
'There, Comrade Jackson,' he said, 'you have hit the bull's-eye, rung
the bell, and gathered in the cigar or cocoanut according to choice. He
_will_ go off to his club. And I shall do precisely the same.'
'How do you mean?'
'It is this way. My father, as you may have noticed during your stay at
our stately home of England, is a man of a warm, impulsive character.
He does not always do things as other people would do them. He has his
own methods. Thus, he has sent me into the City to do the hard-working,
bank-clerk act, but at the same time he is allowing me just as large an
allowance as he would have given me if I had gone to the 'Varsity.
Moreover, while I was still at Eton he put my name up for his clubs,
the Senior Conservative among others. My pater belongs to four
clubs altogether, and in course of time, when my name comes up for
election, I shall do the same. Meanwhile, I belong to one, the Senior
Conservative. It is a bigger club than the others, and your name comes
up for election sooner. About the middle of last month a great yell of
joy made the West End of London shake like a jelly. The three thousand
members of the Senior Conservative had just learned that I had been
elected.'
Psmith paused, and ate some porridge.
'I wonder why they call this porridge,' he observed with mild interest.
'It would be far more manly and straightforward of them to give it its
real name. To resume. I have gleaned, from casual chit-chat with my
father, that Comrade Bickersdyke also infests the Senior Conservative.
You might think that that would make me, seeing how particular I am
about whom I mix with, avoid the club. Error. I shall go there every
day. If Comrade Bickersdyke wishes to emend any little traits in my
character of which he may disapprove, he shall never say that I did not
give him the opportunity. I shall mix freely with Comrade Bickersdyke
at the Senior Conservative Club. I shall be his constant companion. I
shall, in short, haunt the man. By these strenuous means I shall, as it
were, get a bit of my own back. And now,' said Psmith, rising, 'it
might be as well, perhaps, to return to the bank and resume our
commercial duties. I don't know how long you are supposed to be allowed
for your little trips to and from the post-office, but, seeing that the
distance is about thirty yards, I should say at a venture not more than
half an hour. Which is exactly the space of time which has flitted by
since we started out on this important expedition. Your devotion to
porridge, Comrade Jackson, has led to our spending about twenty-five
minutes in this hostelry.'
'Great Scott,' said Mike, 'there'll be a row.'
'Some slight temporary breeze, perhaps,' said Psmith. 'Annoying to men
of culture and refinement, but not lasting. My only fear is lest we may
have worried Comrade Rossiter at all. I regard Comrade Rossiter as an
elder brother, and would not cause him a moment's heart-burning for
worlds. However, we shall soon know,' he added, as they passed into the
bank and walked up the aisle, 'for there is Comrade Rossiter waiting to
receive us in person.'
The little head of the Postage Department was moving restlessly about
in the neighbourhood of Psmith's and Mike's desk.
'Am I mistaken,' said Psmith to Mike, 'or is there the merest suspicion
of a worried look on our chief's face? It seems to me that there is the
slightest soupcon of shadow about that broad, calm brow.'
7. Going into Winter Quarters
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