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Page 10
It was impossible for Gregor to find out what they had told
the doctor and the locksmith that first morning to get them
out of the flat. As nobody could understand him, nobody,
not even his sister, thought that he could understand them,
so he had to be content to hear his sister's sighs and
appeals to the saints as she moved about his room. It was
only later, when she had become a little more used to
everything - there was, of course, no question of her ever
becoming fully used to the situation - that Gregor would
sometimes catch a friendly comment, or at least a comment
that could be construed as friendly. "He's enjoyed his
dinner today", she might say when he had diligently cleared
away all the food left for him, or if he left most of it,
which slowly became more and more frequent, she would often
say, sadly, "now everything's just been left there again".
Although Gregor wasn't able to hear any news directly he did
listen to much of what was said in the next rooms, and
whenever he heard anyone speaking he would scurry straight
to the appropriate door and press his whole body against it.
There was seldom any conversation, especially at first, that
was not about him in some way, even if only in secret. For
two whole days, all the talk at every mealtime was about
what they should do now; but even between meals they spoke
about the same subject as there were always at least two
members of the family at home - nobody wanted to be at home
by themselves and it was out of the question to leave the
flat entirely empty. And on the very first day the maid had
fallen to her knees and begged Gregor's mother to let her go
without delay. It was not very clear how much she knew of
what had happened but she left within a quarter of an hour,
tearfully thanking Gregor's mother for her dismissal as if
she had done her an enormous service. She even swore
emphatically not to tell anyone the slightest about what had
happened, even though no-one had asked that of her. Now
Gregor's sister also had to help his mother with the
cooking; although that was not so much bother as no-one ate
very much. Gregor often heard how one of them would
unsuccessfully urge another to eat, and receive no more
answer than "no thanks, I've had enough" or something
similar. No-one drank very much either. His sister would
sometimes ask his father whether he would like a beer,
hoping for the chance to go and fetch it herself. When his
father then said nothing she would add, so that he would not
feel selfish, that she could send the housekeeper for it,
but then his father would close the matter with a big, loud
"No", and no more would be said.
Even before the first day had come to an end, his father had
explained to Gregor's mother and sister what their finances
and prospects were. Now and then he stood up from the table
and took some receipt or document from the little cash box
he had saved from his business when it had collapsed five
years earlier. Gregor heard how he opened the complicated
lock and then closed it again after he had taken the item he
wanted. What he heard his father say was some of the first
good news that Gregor heard since he had first been
incarcerated in his room. He had thought that nothing at
all remained from his father's business, at least he had
never told him anything different, and Gregor had never
asked him about it anyway. Their business misfortune had
reduced the family to a state of total despair, and Gregor's
only concern at that time had been to arrange things so that
they could all forget about it as quickly as possible. So
then he started working especially hard, with a fiery vigour
that raised him from a junior salesman to a travelling
representative almost overnight, bringing with it the
chance to earn money in quite different ways. Gregor
converted his success at work straight into cash that he
could lay on the table at home for the benefit of his
astonished and delighted family. They had been good times
and they had never come again, at least not with the same
splendour, even though Gregor had later earned so much that
he was in a position to bear the costs of the whole family,
and did bear them. They had even got used to it, both
Gregor and the family, they took the money with gratitude
and he was glad to provide it, although there was no longer
much warm affection given in return. Gregor only remained
close to his sister now. Unlike him, she was very fond of
music and a gifted and expressive violinist, it was his
secret plan to send her to the conservatory next year even
though it would cause great expense that would have to be
made up for in some other way. During Gregor's short
periods in town, conversation with his sister would often
turn to the conservatory but it was only ever mentioned as a
lovely dream that could never be realised. Their parents
did not like to hear this innocent talk, but Gregor thought
about it quite hard and decided he would let them know what
he planned with a grand announcement of it on Christmas day.
That was the sort of totally pointless thing that went
through his mind in his present state, pressed upright
against the door and listening. There were times when he
simply became too tired to continue listening, when his head
would fall wearily against the door and he would pull it up
again with a start, as even the slightest noise he caused
would be heard next door and they would all go silent.
"What's that he's doing now", his father would say after a
while, clearly having gone over to the door, and only then
would the interrupted conversation slowly be taken up again.
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