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Page 53
The person who is always trying to set other people right does not use
tact. If they wanted assistance, they would probably ask. People are
sensitive, and they do not like to have their shortcomings commented upon
by others.
Ask questions only if you are gifted with great tact. Otherwise you are
bound to create embarrassing situations. If you do ask questions, make
them of a general character, rather than personal. But never be curious,
because people resent inquisitiveness--and rightly so, for it is a very
undesirable trait to have, and each person has a right to privacy.
Never talk for mere talking's sake. Speak only when you have something
to say, and then talk quietly, deliberately and with sincerity. Never
criticize, antagonize or moralize and your company will be sought by
everyone.
SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION
If you mumble over your words and have difficulty in pronouncing clearly,
you will find it a great help to talk very slowly and take deep breaths
between each two or three words. For stammering, deep breathing is also
suggested before uttering the words upon which one is most likely to come
to grief.
Self-consciousness is the result of exaggerated humility. If you
concentrate upon what you are saying, and forget all about how you are
saying it, you will forget your shyness. Respect yourself, have
confidence in yourself-and nervousness and shyness in conversation will
vanish.
Lisping is a matter of defective speech, and although reading aloud and
dramatic recitations help, it is best to consult a specialist if ordinary
methods fail to prevent it. Such habits as hesitation, coughing, or
groping for a word, are often forms of nervousness and a little
will-power exerted in the right direction may easily control them.
Above all, be simple and be sincere. Let interest in your subject lend
animation to your face and manner. Do not attempt to make yourself
appear brilliant and inspired, for you will only succeed in making
yourself ridiculous. Be modest, pleasant, agreeable and sympathetic, and
you will find that you win the immediate response of your audience,
whether it consists of two people or two hundred people.
WHAT TO TALK ABOUT
In this beautiful country, filled with charming woodland scenes,
landmarks of interest, museums, schools, monuments, libraries, there is
no excuse for the man or woman who finds that he or she has "nothing to
talk about." In the newspapers every day, in books, plays, operas, even
in the advertisements and posters, there is material for interesting
conversation.
Try it the next time you meet some friends and you find that conversation
lags. Talk about something, anything, until you get started. Talk about
the sunset you saw last night, or the little crippled boy who was selling
newspapers. As long as it is something with a touch of human interest in
it, and if you tell it with the desire to please rather than impress,
your audience will be interested in your conversation. But to remain
quiet, answering only when you are spoken to, and allowing conversation
to die each time it reaches you, is a feature of conduct belonging only
to the ignorant and dull. There are many pleasant and agreeable things
to talk about-argument and discussion have no place in the social
drawing-room-and there is no reason why /you/ cannot find them and make
use of them.
If you are forgetful, and somewhat shy in the company of others, it might
be well to jot down and commit to memory any interesting bit of
information or news that you feel would be worthy of repetition. It may
be an interesting little story, or a clever repartee, or some amusing
incident-but whatever it is, {pls. check orig for next word}make the
appeal general. It is a mistake to talk only about those things that
interest you; when Matthew Arnold was once asked what his favorite topic
for conversation was, he answered, "That in which my companion is most
interested."
Make that your ideal, and you can hardly help becoming an agreeable and
pleasing conversationalist.
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