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Page 34
"These are improving reminiscences, my dear Miranda!" said Mr.
Merryweather.
"Oh! but what do you think mamma did this morning?" cried
Gertrude. "May I tell them, mamma? Do you mind?"
"Tell them, by all means, my dear," said Mrs. Merryweather,
cheerfully. "Did I do anything more foolish than usual? Oh, yes, I
remember! I was measuring the whale-oil soap. Tell them, Gerty, if
you think it would amuse them. I am not very useful," she added,
turning to Mrs. Grahame, "but I do seem to give a good deal of
amusement, and that is a good thing."
"Well," said Gertrude, "you see, we had to squirt the roses, and
mamma said she would make the whale-oil mixture for us, because it
is such horrid stuff, and we had some errands to do first. So I
came back after the errands, and she was measuring it out. Dear
mamma! am I a wretch?"
"Not at all, my child," said her mother. "I richly deserve to be
exposed; besides, one can always serve to point a moral. You see,
Mrs. Grahame, the receipt said, 'half a pint of soap to a gallon
of water! Now I had ten gallons of water, so I--tell what I was
doing, cruel child."
"She had the pint measure," said Gerty, "and she was filling it
half full and then pouring it into the water. She was going to do
that ten times, you see; and I said, 'Why don't you fill it full,
five times?' Darling mamma, I AM a wretch!"
"Yes, you are," cried Bell. "Poor mamma! dear mamma!"
The children all clustered round their mother, caressing her, and
murmuring affectionate words. Mrs. Merryweather smiled in a happy,
helpless way.
"I am a sad goose, good neighbours," she said; "but they always
bring me out right, somehow. There now, darlings, sit down, and be
good. And, by the way, Gertrude, I am minded to heap a coal of
fire on your head. Didn't you tell me this morning that Titus
Labienus was always on a hill, or something like that?"
"Yes," said Gertrude. "So he is, and ever will remain so. Have you
taken him down, dear mamma?"
"Not exactly!" said her mother. "But I have made a ballad about
him, and I thought it might possibly amuse you all."
An eager shout arose, and all the young people gathered in a
circle round the good lady's chair, while she read:--
"THE BALLAD OF TITUS LABIENUS."
Now Titus Labienus
Was stationed on a hill;
He sacrificed to Janus,
Then stood up stark and still'
He stood and gazed before him,
The best part of a week;
Then, as if anguish tore him,
Did Labienus speak:
"Oh, hearken, mighty Caesar I
Oh, Caius Julius C.,
It really seems to me, sir,
Things aren't as they should be.
I've looked into the future,
I've gazed beyond the years,
And as I'm not a butcher,
My heart is wrung to tears.
"All Gaul it is divided
In parts one, two and three,
And bravely you and I did,
In Britain o'er the sea.
In savage wilds the Teuton
Has felt your hand of steel,
Proud Rome you've set your boot on,
And ground it 'neath your heel.
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