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Page 33
"Yes, Miss Hilda, I should think they did!" cried Phil,
indignantly. "Sat there and chuckled like great apes, instead of
helping a fellow. And I had to crawl under barrels for about half
a mile, so that those people wouldn't see me."
"Poor Phil!" cried compassionate Hildegarde. "And did you get it
off at last?"
"First we tried butter," he said, "but that wouldn't stir it. Then
they gave me a bath of sweet oil, and put flour in my hair, and
hot water, and turtle soup, and I don't know what not; and the
more things they did, the faster the old thing stuck. So at last
we had to call the Mater, and she took the scissors and cut it
off."
"Oh, meus oculus!" cried Gerald. "Do you remember how that kettle
looked, with a fringe of hair all around it? Half his hyacinth bed
on one fell kettle! He ought to have sung a 'Lock-aber no more!'"
"And we ought to have sung 'Philly, put the kettle on!'" cried
Gertrude.
"Toots, don't exhaust your brain!" said Gerald, gravely. "You may
need it some time; there is no knowing. No knowing, but much
nosing!" he added. "Could you move the principal part of your
person, my child? It casts such a deep shadow that I cannot see
myself think."
"Will some one please tell me what is the matter with Gertrude's
nose?" asked Hildegarde, innocently. "You are always talking about
it; it seems to me a very good nose indeed."
"Dear Hilda!" exclaimed Gertrude; "what a nice girl you are!"
"That is just the point, Miss Hilda," said Gerald. "It is an
excellent nose. Take it as a nose, it has no equal in the country,
we have been assured. If there is one thing this family is proud
of, it is Gertrude's nose. We may not be clever, or rich, or
beautiful, but we can always fall back on the nose; there's plenty
of room on it for the whole family."
"Why," put in Phil, "the Pater has been offered a dollar a pound
for that nose, and he wouldn't look at it."
"He couldn't see it," said Bell; "the nose was in the way."
"Why, one day we had been in bathing," said Phil, "and when we
came back, Toots hung her nose out of the window to dry, and went
to sleep and forgot it; and will you believe it? a fellow came
along and climbed right up it, just like 'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let
down your hair,' you know. Ah! Oh, I say!"
At this outrage, Gertrude rose, and fell upon her brother tooth
and nail. She was a powerful child, and at the shock of her onset,
the seat of Phil's chair gave way, and he "sat through" like
little Silver-hair, and came suddenly to the floor, his head and
legs sticking up helplessly through the empty frame. The young
people were so overcome with laughter that no one could help him;
but Roger, who had been hidden in a convenient corner with an
absorbing monograph on trilobites that had just arrived by mail,
came forward and pulled his brother out.
"Dear me!" exclaimed Mrs. Merryweather, looking up. "Philip, my
dear, it is strange that none of you can remember not to sit in
that chair."
"What is the matter with the chair?" inquired Mr. Merryweather.
"The seat has been loose for a long time," said his wife. "It
always comes down when any one sits in it."
"And could it not be mended?"
"Why, yes," said Mrs. Merryweather, evidently receiving a new
idea. "I suppose it might be mended, Miles. Do you know, I never
thought of that! Certainly; it shall be mended. Bell, remind me
to-morrow to get some glue. That is one of the set of chairs that
came from my father's house, you remember, Miles, and the seats
were always loose. One night my mother had a party, and your Uncle
Frederick went round before the people came, and set the seats
forward in the frames, so that whoever sat down would go through
at once. The governor of the State was the first to take his seat,
and he went directly through to the floor, just as Phil did now.
My father was excessively angry, and Frederick and I spent the
next day in bed, but we thought it was worth the punishment."
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