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Page 97
Please send by express to this ranch 75 cooks and 200 washwomen, blind
or wooden legged ones perferred. The climate has a tendency to make them
walk off every two or three days, which must be overcome. Ed Brockman
has quit the store and I think is going to work for Lee among the cows.
Wears a red sash and swears so fluently that he has been mistaken often
for a member of the Texas Legislature.
If you see Dr. Beall bow to him for me, politely but distantly; he
refuses to waste a line upon me. I suppose he is too much engaged in
courting to write any letters. Give Dr. Hall my profoundest regards. I
think about him invariably whenever he is occupying my thoughts.
Influenced by the contents of the Bugle, there is an impression general
at this ranch that you are president, secretary, and committee, &c., of
the various associations of fruit fairs, sewing societies, church fairs,
Presbytery, general assembly, conference, medical conventions, and baby
shows that go to make up the glory and renown of North Carolina in
general, and while I heartily congratulate the aforesaid institutions on
their having such a zealous and efficient officer, I tremble lest their
requirements leave you not time to favor me with a letter in reply to
this, and assure you that if you would so honor me I would highly
appreciate the effort. I would rather have a good long letter from you
than many Bugles. In your letter be certain to refer as much as possible
to the advantages of civilized life over the barbarous; you might
mention the theatres you see there, the nice things you eat, warm fires,
niggers to cook and bring in wood; a special reference to nice
beef-steak would be advisable. You know our being reminded of these
luxuries makes us contented and happy. When we hear of you people at
home eating turkeys and mince pies and getting drunk Christmas and
having a fine time generally we become more and more reconciled to this
country and would not leave it for anything.
I must close now as I must go and dress for the opera. Write soon.
Yours very truly,
W.S. Porter.
* * * *
To Dr. W.P. Beall
[Dr. Beall, of Greensboro, N.C., was one of young Porter's dearest
friends. Between them there was an almost regular correspondence
during Porter's first years in Texas.]
La Salle County, Texas, December 8, 1883.
Dear Doctor: I send you a play--a regular high art--full orchestra,
gilt-edged drama. I send it to you because of old acquaintance and as a
revival of old associations. Was I not ever ready in times gone by to
generously furnish a spatula and other assistance when you did buy the
succulent watermelon? And was it not by my connivance and help that you
did oft from the gentle Oscar Mayo skates entice? But I digress. I think
that I have so concealed the identity of the characters introduced that
no one will be able to place them, as they all appear under fictitious
names, although I admit that many of the incidents and scenes were
suggested by actual experiences of the author in your city.
You will, of course, introduce the play upon the stage if proper
arrangements can be made. I have not yet had an opportunity of
ascertaining whether Edwin Booth, John McCullough or Henry Irving can be
secured. However, I will leave all such matters to your judgment and
taste. Some few suggestions I will make with regard to the mounting of
the piece which may be of value to you. Discrimination will be necessary
in selecting a fit person to represent the character of Bill Slax, the
tramp. The part is that of a youth of great beauty and noble manners,
temporarily under a cloud and is generally rather difficult to fill
properly. The other minor characters, such as damfools, citizens,
police, customers, countrymen, &c., can be very easily supplied,
especially the first.
Let it be announced in the Patriot for several days that in front of
Benbow Hall, at a certain hour, a man will walk a tight rope seventy
feet from the ground who has never made the attempt before; that the
exhibition will be FREE, and that the odds are 20 to 1 that the man will
be killed. A large crowd will gather. Then let the Guilford Grays charge
one side, the Reidsville Light Infantry the other, with fixed bayonets,
and a man with a hat commence taking up a collection in the rear. By
this means they can be readily driven into the hall and the door locked.
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