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Page 21
I had followed him to the hall, and on my way back to the cabinet I
attempted to soothe him, and I begged him not to be thus discomposed by a
circumstance which, after all, was of no great moment. I do not know
whether his anger was increased by the sight of the blood which flowed
from his hand, and which he was every moment looking at; but however that
might be, a transport of furious passion, such as I had never before
witnessed, seized him; and as I was about to enter the cabinet after him
he threw back the door with so much violence that, had I been two or
three inches nearer him, it must infallibly have struck me in the face.
He accompanied this action, which was almost convulsive, with an
appellation, not to be borne; he exclaimed before M. de Talleyrand,
"Leave me alone; you are a fool." At an insult so atrocious I confess
that the anger which had already mastered the First Consul suddenly
seized on me. I thrust the door forward with as much impetuosity as he
had used in throwing it back, and, scarcely knowing what I said,
exclaimed, "You are a hundredfold a greater fool than I am!" I then
banged the door and went upstairs to my apartment, which was situated
over the cabinet.
I was as far from expecting as from wishing such an occasion of
separating from the First Consul. But what was done could not be undone;
and therefore, without taking time for reflection, and still under the
influence of the anger that had got the better of me, I penned the
following positive resignation:
GENERAL--The state of my health no longer permits me to continue in your
service. I therefore beg you to accept my resignation.
BOURRIENNE.
Some moments after this note was written I saw Bonaparte's saddle-horses
brought up to the entrance of the Palace. It was Sunday morning, and,
contrary to his usual custom on that day, he was going to ride out.
Duroc accompanied him. He was no sooner done than I, went down into his
cabinet, and placed my letter on his table. On returning at four o'clock
with Duroc Bonaparte read my letter. "Ah! ah!" said he, before opening
it, "a letter from Bourrienne." And he almost immediately added, for the
note was speedily perused, "He is in the sulks.--Accepted." I had left
the Tuileries at the moment he returned, but Duroc sent to me where I was
dining the following billet:
The First Consul desires me, my dear Bourrienne, to inform you that he
accepts your resignation, and to request that you will give me the
necessary information respecting your papers.--Yours,
DUROC.
P.S.:--I will call on you presently.
Duroc came to me at eight o'clock the same evening. The First Consul was
in his cabinet when we entered it. I immediately commenced giving my
intended successor the necessary explanations to enable him to enter upon
his new duties. Piqued at finding that I did not speak to him, and at
the coolness with which I instructed Duroc, Bonaparte said to me in a
harsh tone, "Come, I have had enough of this! Leave me." I stepped down
from the ladder on which I had mounted for the purpose of pointing out to
Duroc the places in which the various papers were deposited and hastily
withdrew. I too had quite enough of it!
I remained two more days at the Tuileries until I had suited myself with
lodgings. On Monday I went down into the cabinet of the First Consul to
take my leave of him. We conversed together for a long time, and very
amicably. He told me he was very sorry I was going to leave him, and
that he would do all he could for me. I pointed out several places to
him; at last I mentioned the Tribunate. "That will not do for you," he
said; "the members are a set of babblers and phrasemongers, whom I mean to
get rid of. All the troubles of States proceed from such debatings. I
am tired of them." He continued to talk in a strain which left me in no
doubt as to his uneasiness about the Tribunate, which, in fact, reckoned
among its members many men of great talent and excellent character.
--[In 1802 the First Consul made a reduction of fifty members of the
Tribunate, and subsequently the whole body was suppressed.
--Bourrienne.]--
The following day, Tuesday, the First Consul asked me to breakfast with
him. After breakfast, while he was conversing with some other person,
Madame Bonaparte and Hortense pressed me to make advances towards
obtaining a re-instalment in my office, appealing to me on the score of
the friendship and kindness they had always shown me. They told me that
I had been in the wrong, and that I had forgotten myself. I answered
that I considered the evil beyond remedy; and that, besides, I had really
need of repose. The First Consul then called me to him, and conversed a
considerable time with me, renewing his protestations of goodwill towards
me.
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