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Page 32
He groped his way back to the taffrail. Why, he knew not; but there he
was at last. He might safely soliloquize now; there was no listener.
He might light a cigar and smoke; no one would see him. Yet, no; for,
on second thoughts, his cigars had gone with the haversack!
He bent over the slender iron railing. Where was--it now? Miles away
by this time, swinging, swaying down--down--down to the bottom of the
Sound! Slowly turning over as it sinks, its arms now thrown out, now
doubled underneath; the legs sprawling helplessly; the head wagging
loosely on the dead neck. Down--down, pitching slowly head forwards;
righting, and going down standing, the hair floating straight on end.
Down! O, would it never be done sinking--sinking--sinking? Was the sea
deep as Hell?
But when it reached the bottom, would it rest there? No, not even
there. It would drift uneasily about for a while on the dark sand, the
green gloom of the water above it. Every hour it would grow less and
less heavy; by and by it would begin slowly to rise--rise! Horrible it
looked now; not like itself, that had been horrible enough before.
Rising,--rising. O fearful thing! why come to tell dead men's tales
here? You are done with the world. What wants mankind with you?
Begone! sink, and rise no more! It will not sink; still it rises, and
the green gloom lightens as it slowly buoys upwards. The light rests
shrinkingly on it, revealing the dreadful features. The limbs are no
longer pliant, but stiff,--terribly stiff and unyielding. Still it
rises, nearer and nearer to the surface. See where the throat was
gripped! Up it comes at last in the morning sun, among the sparkling,
laughing, pure blue waves,--the swollen, dead thing!--dead in the
midst of the world's life, hideous amidst the world's beauty. It bobs
and floats, and will sink no more; would rise to heaven if it could!
No need for that. The tide takes it and creeps stealthily with it
towards the shore, and casts it, with shudder and recoil, upon the
beach. There it lies.
Such visions haunted Helwyse as he leaned over the taffrail. He had
not suspected, at starting, upon how long a voyage he was bound. How
many hours might it be since he and the cook had so merrily dined
together? Was such a contrast possible? Surely no more monstrous
delusion than this of Time ever imposed upon mankind! For months and
years he jogs on with us, a dull and sober-paced pedestrian. Then
comes a sudden eternity! But Time thrusts a clock in our faces, and
shows us that the hands have marked a minute only. Shall we put faith
in him?
Helwyse suffered from a vivid imagination. He went not to his room
that night. He kept the deck, and tried to talk with the men,
following them about and asking aimless questions, until they began to
give him short answers. Where were his pride and his serene
superiority to the friendship or enmity of his race? where his
philosophic self-criticism and fanciful badinage? his resolute,
conquering eyes? his bearing of graceful, careless authority? Had all
these attributes been packed in his haversack, and cast with that upon
the waters? and would they, no more than he to whose care they had
been intrusted, ever return?
With each new hour, morning seemed farther off. In his objectless
wanderings, Helwyse came to the well of the engine-room and hung over
it, gazing at the bright, swift-sliding machinery, studying the parts,
tracing the subtle transmission of force from piece to piece. Here at
last was companionship for him! The engine was a beautiful
combination,--so polished, effective, and logical; like the minds of
some philosophers, moving with superhuman regularity and power, but
lifeless!
Helwyse watched it long, till finally its monotony wearied him. It was
doing admirable work, but it never swerved from its course at the call
of sentiment or emotion. Its travesty of life was repulsive. Machinery
is the most admirable invention of man, but is modelled after no
heavenly prototype, and will have no part in the millennium. It seems
to annul space and time, yet gives us no taste of eternity. Man lives
quicker by it, but not more. With another kind of weapon must the true
victory over matter be achieved!
XII.
MORE VAGARIES.
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