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Page 17
The example thus nobly set is being widely followed. The members of the
Southern Jazz-band Union met yesterday way down in Tennessee, and passed a
resolution demanding the elimination of _Othello_ from the educational
curriculum. The proposer declared with some heat that "no coloured
gentleman would spifflicate his missus wid a bolster on de word of a mean
white thief like dat _Iago_." The mere suggestion was dam foolishness and
an insult to the most prominent section of the freeborn citizens of the
U.S.A. "If dey gwine whitewash de Scotchman, why not de man ob colour too?"
At a representative meeting of Welshmen Mr. Jones ap Jones moved that, as a
protest against SHAKSPEARE'S treatment of _Fluellen_ and the Cymric
vegetable symbol, _Henry V._ "be no longer taught in Welsh schools or read
at Jesus College, Oxford, whateffer."
At a recent meeting of the S.P.R. it was proposed by Sir A. CONAN DOYLE, of
Oliver Lodge, Ether, Surrey, "that the Board of Education be asked, in the
interests of scientific truth, to suspend the teaching of _Hamlet_ until
the scenes in which the _Ghost_ appears shall have been emended in the
light of modern research by a committee of psychical experts appointed for
the purpose. The proposer quoted the line spoken by _Hamlet_ to the
apparition:--
"Be thou a spirit of health or goblin damn'd,"
and said he would like to substitute for it, "Be thou a subjective
hallucination arising from an uprush of inhibited emotional disturbance
from the subliminal consciousness, or the objectivisation of a telepathic
communication from the extra-corporeal sphere of being, or, finally, a
manifestation to sensory perception of some supra-normal undulatory
movement of the ether."
He had always deprecated, he said, the meddling of untrained amateurs with
the details of psychic phenomena, and felt that the rule should be made
retrospective. An amendment was carried to add _Julius C�sar_ and _Richard
III._ to the motion for similar reasons.
The Labour Party have decided to ask Mr. FISHER to ban _Coriolanus_ on the
ground that many of the speeches of the chief character betray an
anti-democratic bias, out of keeping with the ideals that should be set
before the rising generation. Phrases like "The mutable rank-scented many,"
applied to the proletariat, could only foster the bourgeois prejudices of
jaundiced reactionaries and teach the young scions of the capitalist
classes to look down upon the manual worker.
* * * * *
"For Sale Black Ebony Gentleman's Shaving Outfit."--_Local Paper._
We gather that our coloured brother is about to grow a beard.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Lady_ (_buying music_). "OH, AND HAVE YOU GOT 'A LOVER IN
DAMASCUS'?"
_New Girl._ "WELL, MA'AM, MY FIANC� WAS IN MESPOT, BUT HE'S BACK IN BRIXTON
NOW."]
* * * * *
MODERN MOON-RAKERS.
PORTA, the once notorious Michigander,
Who launched the now exploded solar slander,
Whereat ten thousand negroes stood aghast,
In one short month into oblivion passed,
But PICKERING'S momentous lunar screed
Proves the persistence of this wondrous breed.
Yet this in PICKERING'S favour let us state:
He has no scare or scandal to relate--
Nothing in any way that may impugn
The credit or the morals of the moon;
And on the other hand it does attract us
To learn that she is growing sage and cactus.
Hardly romantic vegetables, these,
And not so edible as good green cheese
Which nursery rhymers (banned by MONTESSORI)
Associated with the lunar story.
Still PICKERING'S vegetable views are tame
Contrasted with Professor GODDARD'S aim;
For he, as from the daily Press we learn,
An obvious plagiarist of good JULES VERNE,
Would have us build a Bertha fat enough
To send a charge of high explosive stuff
Across the intervening seas of space
Bang into Luna's unoffending face.
Meanwhile our own alert star-gazing chief,
DYSON (Sir FRANK), is rather moved to grief
Than anger by the astronomic pranks
Played by unbalanced professorial cranks,
Who study science in the wild-cat vein
And "ruin along the illimitable inane."
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