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Page 16
* * * * *
A SIDE-SLIP.
"Just before the war we were in danger of having the ugly and even
abominable word 'aviator' fostered upon us. Just as that word seemed
victorious, _The Times_ suddenly announced that it had decided once and
for all to use 'airman' instead, and there can be no doubt that the
example there set, which was copied by journalists on other papers,
secured the predominance of a good new English word over a deformed
importation."--_Times Literary Supplement_.
"The volume contains some 500 portraits of New England aviators."--
_Same paper, same date, same page_.
* * * * *
"QUARTER MILE CHAMPIONSHIP.--Record, Sgt. Smith (North Staffords), 5
2-5secs.
Wilkinson........ 1
Goddard.......... 2
Worsley.......... 3
An excellent win, Wilkinson putting in a wonderful spurt in the last 30
years."--_Indian Paper_.
From which we infer that he did not succeed in lowering Sergeant Smith's
remarkable record.
* * * * *
THE MAN WHO COULD DO IT HIMSELF.
[Illustration: "HORACE, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE BOILER. SHALL I
GET THE PLUMBER?"]
[Illustration: "PLUMBER? OF COURSE NOT--]
[Illustration: I'LL PUT IT RIGHT.]
[Illustration: JUST GET ME A SPANNER--]
[Illustration: AND A HAMMER--]
[Illustration: AND A LADDER--]
[Illustration: AND SOME STRING--]
[Illustration: AND A WOODEN PLUG OR TWO--]
[Illustration: AND AS MANY TOWELS AS YOU CAN FIND--]
[Illustration: AND ALL THE BLANKETS IN THE HOUSE--]
[Illustration: AND--]
[Illustration: THE DOCTOR."]
* * * * *
SHAKSPEARE THE TRADUCER.
The members of the League of Scottish Veterans of the World War met
recently in New York, and after "due deliberation" (_Query_, Can Scotchmen
deliberate "duly" in New York now?) passed a resolution demanding that
SHAKSPEARE'S tragedy, _Macbeth_, be removed from the curriculum of English
literature studies in American schools.
Apparently this was an example of "dry" Scotch humour. A neighbouring city
had previously banned _The Merchant of Venice_ from its schools on the
ground that the character of _Shylock_ was a libel on the Jewish race. If
Jewish children no longer had to pay for school editions of _The Merchant
of Venice_ should Scottish infants still have to squander their bawbees on
a play that insulted their forbears? Perish the thought! "We consider,"
they declared, "that if a Jewish gabardine is to be cleaned by American
Boards of Education the stain should likewise be removed from the Scottish
kilt." And if there are no reliable cleaners in the U.S.A. it should be
sent to Perth.
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