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Page 27
All the neighbouring States join'd the _Cacklogallinians_, in
endeavouring to prevent this vast Increase of Power to the _Magpyes_,
since it must necessarily destroy the Balance of Power; and as their
prince was both powerful and ambitious, they apprehended he would
aim at an universal Monarchy: But then they would not allow the
_Cacklogallinians_ had any more Right than their Neighbours, to name
a Successor; and if that Monarchy were to fall to the Share of any
powerful Prince, it might be as dangerous to the common Good, as if
yielded to the _Magpyes_; they therefore would have it divided.
The Peacock, who pretends to be the High-Priest of all Nations, and
exacts on that Account Tributes from them, and calls himself the
Disposer of Kingdoms, had his Tributes stopp'd by the _Magpyes_, about
the same time; and complaining of this Injury, he invited _Bigoteasy_ to
declare War against _Gripeallyominte_, King of the _Magpyes_, which, on
account of former Friendship, he absolutely refused. This so enraged the
good High Priest, that he raised a Rebellion against him; he was
dethron'd, taken Prisoner by his Subjects, and died in Confinement,
and his Kingdom given by the Peacock, and the unanimous Consent of the
People, to the greatest Prince that History ever mention'd, either for
Wisdom or Bravery.
These Wars lasted Sixty and Seven Years, and the _Cacklogallinians_ bore
the greatest Share of the Expence; which had so far indebted them, that
every Brain was at Work to project Methods for raising Money to pay the
Interest.
These Schemes, which were every Day presented to the Minister, grew so
numerous, that, had he applied himself to nothing else but their
Examination, it would have taken up a great Part of his Time: And,
indeed, I must own, that my Friend, the first Minister, gave himself but
very little Trouble in things of this Nature, for all his Schemes, and
all his Thoughts center'd in himself; and when I have gone to carry him
Intelligence in a Morning, and all the great Fowl that came to pay their
Levee, have been answer'd, that he was busy in his Closet upon Affairs
of Importance to the State, and saw no Company, I have found him (for
there were Orders for admitting me) either writing Directions concerning
his Ostriches, or his Country Sports, or his Buildings, or examining his
private Accounts; and tho' I often thought but meanly of my own Species,
yet I began to think, from the Conduct of this great Minister, that a
Cock was a far more selfish, and more worthless Animal than Man;
insomuch, that I have so despised them ever since, as to think them good
for nothing but the Spit.
The Schemes which he put in Practice were all the Invention of others,
tho' he assum'd the Credit of them; and I will be bold to say, that,
before my Time, amongst Numbers that were offer'd to him, he generally
chose the worst.
I was therefore order'd, after I had been two Years at Court, to take
this Business upon me, with the Title of _Castleairiano_, or Project
Examiner, and a Salary of Thirty Thousand _Spasma_'s. The first Project
offer'd me, was the laying a Tax on Cloath, and all manner of Stuffs.
This I rejected, because it being the chief Manufacture of the Country,
it would, by raising the Price abroad, be a Hindrance to the Commerce of
the Nation, and give the _Cormorants_ who made it, tho' nothing so fine
as the _Cacklogallinians_, an Opportunity, by under-selling them, to
become the chief Merchants in this Branch of Trade. But it would be
tedious to mention the many Offers, with my Reasons for accepting or
rejecting them, which I once a Week gave a List of to the Minister, who
was often so good as to approve my Judgment.
There were Projects for taxing Soot, Corn, Ribbons, for coining all the
Plate of the Nobility, for prohibiting the wearing of Gold or Silver.
Some were for the Government's taking all the Torchtrees (which gave a
Light, and are used like our Candles) and dispose of them, by which
great Sums might be raised. Some were for laying a Tax on all who kept
Coaches; others upon all who wore Silver or Gold Spurs: But these
touching only the Rich, the Minister would not listen to. The Tax which
he approved of most, was on the Light of the Sun, according to the Hours
it was enjoy'd; so that the poor Peasant, who rose with it, paid for
Twelve Hours Day-light, and the Nobility and Gentry, who kept their Beds
till Noon, paid only for Six.
Another Tax was laid upon those who drank only Spring Water. This fell
altogether on the Poor, for the better Sort drank the Juice of a certain
Tree imported from the _Bubohibonians_.
Whoever had not an Estate in Land of an Hundred _Spasma_'s was also
tax'd Ten _Spasma_'s a Year, to be paid out of their Day Labour. He
who deliver'd a Project of fetching Gold from the Moon, was caress'd
prodigiously, and his way of reasoning approved; tho' I gave it in with
a [+] as rejected by me, yet he was rewarded, and Preparation order'd
for the Journey, in which I was commanded to accompany him: For, he
insinuated to the Minister, that it was possible the Inhabitants might
be of my Species; nay, that I myself might have dropp'd out of that
World, which was more reasonable than to believe the Story I told, of
having pass'd so great a Sea; and that I very likely had form'd this
Story out of a Tenderness to my Country lest his Imperial Majesty should
attempt its Conquest.
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