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Page 26
When any begins to sicken, a Physician is sent for, who, after having
examin'd the Patient, sends for a _Venenugallpotior_, something like
our Apothecary, and gives him his Direction, takes his Fee, which is
extravagant enough, and goes into his _Palanquin_; for a Physician, let
him be a Second _Hermes_, or _Galen_, will never get Bread, if he does
not make a Figure. He's sure to repeat his Visits, Morning and Even,
if the Patient as often repeats his Fees; but whenever he finds any
Symptoms of a weak Purse, he sets a Mark on that House, and no
Intreaties will prevail with him to go under that Roof.
When the Relations of the Sick perceive him past Hopes of Recovery, they
fall to plundering his House, neglect him entirely, and very often fall
together by the Ears, begin with Blows, and end with a Law-suit, which
seldom fails ruining both Plaintiff and Defendant; for their Lawyers
rarely bring a Suit to Issue, till their Clients are brought to Beggary;
and tho' they all know this to be the Consequence of their Litigation,
yet is there no Nation so fond of going to Law.
When any one falls into Poverty, he's look'd upon as infected; for all
his Acquaintance shun him; nay, very often his own Children will not own
him, if in happier Circumstances: And what will seem wonderful to a
_Briton_, who esteems Merit in Rags, and contemns the Vicious, tho'
encompass'd with a Crowd of Servants, and distinguish'd by the glaring
Titles of his Family; no sooner does a _Cacklogollinian_ grow rich, but
all the World courts him, tho' sprung from a Dunghill: And even those
who can never hope any thing from him, shew him a profound Respect. Ask
who such a one is, and they never tell you, that he is such a Fowl of
Honour, or of such good Qualities, but answer, he is worth so much:
Nay, Riches give a Man such Superiority, that a Merchant, the Son of a
Butcher, presum'd so much upon the immense Sums he possess'd, that he
had the Boldness to tell the Emperor to his Face, if he did not prohibit
the Importation of Corn (which was then very much wanted) he having a
great Quantity by him, would draw his Money out of the publick Treasury,
and then his Majesty might see who was able to supply him. The Emperor
was advised to lay him by the Heels for his Sawciness, but the good
Prince forgave him.
Their Dress is a close Doublet, and a a loose Mantle, which is either
rich or plain, fine or coarse, not according to the Quality, but
according to the Ability of the Wearer; for very often you can't
distinguish, in respect of Dress, the Grandee from the Merchant, or the
_Squabbaw_ from her Attendant; for the meaner Sort lay all on their
Backs. Their Necks are adorned with Ribbons, Bells, Medals, _&c._
and their Tail-feathers are beautify'd with additional ones from the
Peacock, or Figures painted with various Colours, which must be by the
Emperor's Permission, as has been before observ'd.
Their Exercises are pretty violent, and they are great Lovers of a Play
for which I can find no Name in _English_. They begin with giving their
next Neighbour a great Bang with the Wing, which is return'd by a Kick
or Peck, or Stroke with the Spur; you would imagine they were so many
engaged in a Battle, for they strike without Fear or Wit, and never mind
on whom the Strokes light; for every one deals them about promiscuously,
and as thick as he can lay them on. They will continue this Diversion,
till they are not able to stand, or till some of the Company gets a
Wing, a Leg, or a Head broke, or some other Damage, which the Party hurt
never takes ill. This Play is indeed practised only among the younger,
or the meaner Sort.
They are mighty fond of the _Cuckoo_, and will sit two Hours upon a
Stretch to hear a Set of them exercise their natural Talent, for which
they are paid and caress'd. I knew a Lady of Quality who gave a Pension
of Five Thousand _Spasma_'s, each _Spasma_ worth Two Shillings Sterling,
to one of these Birds to sing her to Sleep every Night. The Air of this
Country is too cold for these _Cuckoo_'s, who come from a more southern
Clime, which is the Reason they stay not above three Years before they
wing their Flight home, where they build Palaces with the Profits of
their Journey: But as those who return send others in their stead, the
_Cacklogallinians_ are never long deprived of the Entertainment these
Birds afford 'em.
Another Diversion they have, is the making the Ostriches run Races: The
Feeding, Training, and Betting upon these Birds, have ruined many of the
noblest Families. They are also mightily addicted to Dice, and will set
and lose their Wives and Children, which they sometimes see eaten by the
Winner, if he is of Quality.
This small Sketch of the _Cacklogallinians_ I thought necessary, that
the Reader might have some Idea of them. I happen'd to be cast on their
Coast, just after they had made a Peace with the _Magpyes_, a puissant
and neighbouring Nation, after a long, sanguine, and expensive War,
which had well nigh exhausted the Forces and Treasure of both Parties,
occasioned by the _Cacklogallinians_ pretending they had a Right to
nominate a Successor to the Emperor _Chuctinio_, who was in an advanced
Age, and without issue; and the _Magpyes_ pretended their King, as a
Relation to that Emperor, had a Right to succeed to the Throne of the
_Bubohibonians_, which is the Nation of _Owls_.
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