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Page 21
The Character of the _Cacklogallinians_ in general.
The _Cacklogallinians_ were, in former Ages, a Wise and a Warlike
Nation, both fear'd and esteem'd by their Neighbours. Their Blood was
pure, without being mix'd with that of the _Owls_, _Magpies_, _Eagles_,
_Vulturs_, _Jays_, _Partridges_, _Herns_, _Hawks_, or any other Species;
the Scum of which Nation, by the Fertility of the Country, and the
want of Foresight in the _Cacklogallinians_, has been allured to, and
permitted to settle in _Cacklogallinia_, and by their Intermarriages has
caused the great Degeneracy those Families, which have kept their Blood
untainted, complain of.
The History of their Neighbours are standing Witnesses of the Worth of
their Ancestors, and shew the vast Difference between the ancient and
modern _Cacklogallinians_. The former, tho' tenacious of their Liberty,
were remarkable for their Loyalty; and each thought it his peculiar
Interest zealously to promote that of the Publick. But not to be prolix
in the Character of the old _Cacklogallinians_, I shall give it in few
Words. They were what the _English_ now are, Wise, Modest, Brave, Human,
Loyal, Publick-spirited, capable of governing their own, and conquering
other Kingdoms; Hospitable to Strangers: They encourag'd Merit, and
abominated Flattery. A Pimp in those Days wou'd have starv'd, and even
the Concubine of a Prince not been admitted among Hens of Virtue, tho'
to make the Fortune of a Husband. There was no Upstarts among the
Nobility, and if any were rais'd to Titles, it was by Force of a
conspicuous Merit, which gave a Lustre to the August Assembly in which
he was enroll'd. Justice was impartially administer'd, and the selling
of the People to a Prince or Minister, was a Villainy unknown. None
bribed the People to chuse 'em for their Representatives; Posts in the
Government were given to Fowls capable to serve it, without being
burthened with this or that Family, nor were their Revenues loaded with
Pensions to worthless and vicious Persons, and given for Services which
would be a Disgrace to publish. Trade flourish'd, Money was plenty, none
of their Neighbours durst encroach on their Commerce; their Taxes were
inconsiderable: In a Word, as I before said, they were what our happy
Nation now is, admired for the Prudence of their Administration at home,
and the Terror of their Arms abroad. They are now directly the Reverse
of what they were, and even in my Time, they were sinking in the Opinion
of their Neighbours, who began to consider them as a declining Nation,
which Alteration, I must own (for I love to speak the Truth) was not a
little owing to the Administration of my Friend, the first Minister, who
in taking upon him to manage the Interests of Nations, went out of his
Depth, for Affairs of that Nature seemed to be above his Capacity. His
Education, his Study, his Practice, were rather mercantile, than
otherwise, and all that Knowledge which his Partizans boast so much in
him, was confined to the Business of the Taxes, a Road in which he was
(as it were) grown old, and to Money-Projects, which was owing to a
strict Correspondence he always kept with certain projecting and
mercantile People, and being used to carry all Points at home by Gold,
he knew no other way of doing Business abroad; so that when their
Neighbours used to differ among themselves, about some Points of
Interest, and one Side or other stood in Need of the Assistance of the
_Cacklogallinians_, they sometimes push'd themselves into the Quarrel,
and perhaps paid great Sums of Money for the Favour of sending Armies to
the Succour of one Side or other, so that they became the Tools which
other Nations work'd with. They are naturally prone to Rebellion, have
let the _Cormorants_ chouse them out of several valuable Branches of
their Commerce; and yet the _Cormorants_ are People with whom they have
kept the most lasting Friendship of all their Neighbours. They love War,
and rather than not fight, they will give Money to be let into the
Quarrel (as has been hinted before) they know beforehand, however
victorious they may prove, nothing but Blows will fall to their Share.
If they are under a mild Government, and grow rich, they are always
finding Fault with their Superiors, and ever ready to revolt: But if
they are oppress'd and kept poor, like our Spaniels, they fawn on their
Masters, and seem in Love with Tyranny; which should any dare to speak
against, he is esteem'd an Enemy to the Happiness of his Country. They
are very proud, yet very mean in some Particulars, and will, for their
Interest, sacrifice the Honour of their Families. They look upon nothing
infamous but Poverty, for which Reason, the most scandalous Methods of
procuring Riches, such as Lying, Robbing the Publick, Cheating Orphans,
Pimping, Perjury, _& c._ are not look'd upon with evil Eyes, provided
they prove successful. This Maxim holds with 'em, both in publick and
private Affairs. I knew One rais'd from a Fowl of Three Foot Six Inches,
to be a _Makeseulsibi_, a Post which rais'd him to Eight Foot Six, and
is one of the greatest in the Kingdom. He is to instruct the Grandees,
when in Council, in Points of Law, and is Guardian to all Orphans.
Complaint was made to the Emperor, that he converted their Estates to
his own Use, and left them all to starve; he was therefore, by the
Emperor's Consent, and to satisfy the People, brought to a Tryal. He
answer'd, That he did not deny the Charge; but that he wanted the Money
to make a Figure equal to his Post: However, the Enquiry discover'd
his vast Acqusitions, and prov'd him to be so rich, that he was look'd
upon with Respect, and he lived and died in as much Grandeur, and
Tranquillity, as if he had been a Patriot, and at his Funeral, his great
Service to his Country was blazon'd out in Figures and Hieroglyphicks by
the Heralds; which being a thing I seem'd amaz'd at, and enquiring of
many, how it came to pass, that a Fowl should be treated with Honour,
who had been esteem'd an Oppressor? the common Answer was, he died rich,
and that was enough for all Honours.
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