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Page 12
It is with pleasure I record we have just waited upon the Colonel with
an explanation of our distress of mind, requesting him to proceed with
court-martial. We were kindly and tenderly received. "If you want a
trial I can give it to you," he answered. The brigade has just marched
out to join with the division for inspection. After that we are to have
attention to our case.
P.M. There is particular cause for congratulation in the consideration
that we took this step this morning, when now we receive a letter from
H.D. charging us to faithfulness.
When lately I have seen dear L.M.M. in the thoroughness and patience of
his trial to perform service in hospital, his uneasiness and the
intensity of his struggle as manifested by his silence and disposition
to avoid the company of his friends, and seen him fail and declare to
us, "I cannot stay here," I have received a new proof, and to me a
strong one, because it is from the experimental knowledge of an honest
man, that no Friend, who is really such, desiring to keep himself clear
of complicity with this system of war and to bear a perfect testimony
against it, can lawfully perform service in the hospitals of the Army in
lieu of bearing arms.
_10th_ mo., _3d._--Today dawned fair and our Camp is dry again. I was
asked to clean the gun I brought, and declining, was tied some two hours
upon the ground.
_6th._ AT WASHINGTON.--At first, after being informed of our declining
to serve in his hospital, Colonel Foster did not appear altered in his
kind regard for us. But his spleen soon became evident. At the time we
asked for a trial by court-martial, and it was his duty to place us
under arrest and proceed with the preferring of his charges against us.
For a while he seemed to hesitate and consult his inferior officers, and
among them his Chaplain. The result of the conference was our being
ordered into our companies, that, separated, and with the force of the
officers of a company bearing upon us, we might the more likely be
subdued. Yet the Colonel assured L.M.M., interceding in my behalf, when
the lieutenant commanding my company threatened force upon me, that he
should not allow any personal injury. When we marched next day I was
compelled to bear a gun and equipments. My associates were more
fortunate, for, being asked if they would carry their guns, declined and
saw no more trouble from them. The captain of the company in which P.D.
was placed told him he did not believe he was ugly about it, and that he
could only put him under arrest and prefer charges against him. He
accordingly was taken under guard, where he lay till we left for here.
The next morning the men were busy in burnishing their arms. When I
looked toward the one I had borne, yellow with rust, I trembled in the
weakness of the flesh at the trial I felt impending over me. Before the
Colonel was up I knocked at his tent, but was told he was asleep,
though, through the opening, I saw him lying gazing at me. Although I
felt I should gain no relief from him, I applied again soon after. He
admitted me and, lying on his bed, inquired with cold heartlessness what
I wanted. I stated to him, that I could never consent to serve, and,
being under the war-power, was resigned to suffer instead all the just
penalties of the law. I begged of him release from the attempts by
violence to compel my obedience and service, and a trial, though likely
to be made by those having no sympathy with me, yet probably in a
manner comformable to law.
He replied that he had shown us all the favour he should; that he had,
now, turned us over to the military power and was going to let that take
its course; that is, henceforth we were to be at the mercy of the
inferior officers, without appeal to law, justice, or mercy. He said he
had placed us in a pleasant position, against which we could have no
reasonable objection, and that we had failed to perform our agreement.
He wished to deny that our consent was only temporary and conditional.
He declared, furthermore, his belief, that a man who would not fight for
his country did not deserve to live. I was glad to withdraw from his
presence as soon as I could.
I went back to my tent and lay down for a season of retirement,
endeavouring to gain resignation to any event. I dreaded torture and
desired strength of flesh and spirit. My trial soon came. The lieutenant
called me out, and pointing to the gun that lay near by, asked if I was
going to clean it. I replied to him, that I could not comply with
military requisitions, and felt resigned to the consequences. "I do not
ask about your feelings; I want to know if you are going to clean that
gun?" "I cannot do it," was my answer. He went away, saying, "Very
well," and I crawled into the tent again. Two sergeants soon called for
me, and taking me a little aside, bid me lie down on my back, and
stretching my limbs apart tied cords to my wrists and ankles and these
to four stakes driven in the ground somewhat in the form of an X.
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