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Page 46
The account of an expedition against Fort Christina deserves to be
quoted in full, for it is an example of what war might be, full of
excitement, and exercise, and heroism, without danger to life. We take
up the narrative at the moment when the Dutch host,--
"Brimful of wrath and cabbage,"--
and excited by the eloquence of the mighty Peter, lighted their pipes,
and charged upon the fort.
"The Swedish garrison, ordered by the cunning Risingh not to fire
until they could distinguish the whites of their assailants' eyes,
stood in horrid silence on the covert-way, until the eager Dutchmen
had ascended the glacis. Then did they pour into them such a
tremendous volley, that the very hills quaked around, and were
terrified even unto an incontinence of water, insomuch that certain
springs burst forth from their sides, which continue to run unto
the present day. Not a Dutchman but would have bitten the dust
beneath that dreadful fire, had not the protecting Minerva kindly
taken care that the Swedes should, one and all, observe their usual
custom of shutting their eyes and turning away their heads at the
moment of discharge.
"The Swedes followed up their fire by leaping the counterscarp, and
falling tooth and nail upon the foe with curious outcries. And now
might be seen prodigies of valor, unmatched in history or song.
Here was the sturdy Stoffel Brinkerhoff brandishing his
quarter-staff, like the giant Blanderon his oak-tree (for he
scorned to carry any other weapon), and drumming a horrific tune
upon the hard heads of the Swedish soldiery. There were the Van
Kortlandts, posted at a distance, like the Locrian archers of yore,
and plying it most potently with the long-bow, for which they were
so justly renowned. On a rising knoll were gathered the valiant
men of Sing-Sing, assisting marvelously in the fight by chanting
the great song of St. Nicholas; but as to the Gardeniers of Hudson,
they were absent on a marauding party, laying waste the neighboring
water-melon patches.
"In a different part of the field were the Van Grolls of Antony's
Nose, struggling to get to the thickest of the fight, but horribly
perplexed in a defile between two hills, by reason of the length of
their noses. So also the Van Bunschotens of Nyack and Kakiat, so
renowned for kicking with the left foot, were brought to a stand
for want of wind, in consequence of the hearty dinner they had
eaten, and would have been put to utter rout but for the arrival of
a gallant corps of voltigeurs, composed of the Hoppers, who
advanced nimbly to their assistance on one foot. Nor must I omit to
mention the valiant achievements of Antony Van Corlear, who, for a
good quarter of an hour, waged stubborn fight with a little pursy
Swedish drummer, whose hide he drummed most magnificently, and whom
he would infallibly have annihilated on the spot, but that he had
come into the battle with no other weapon but his trumpet.
"But now the combat thickened. On came the mighty Jacobus Varra
Vanger and the fighting-men of the Wallabout; after them thundered
the Van Pelts of Esopus, together with the Van Rippers and the Van
Brunts, bearing down all before them; then the Suy Dams, and the
Van Dams, pressing forward with many a blustering oath, at the head
of the warriors of Hell-gate, clad in their thunder-and-lightning
gaberdines; and lastly, the standard-bearers and body-guard of
Peter Stuyvesant, bearing the great beaver of the Manhattoes.
"And now commenced the horrid din, the desperate struggle, the
maddening ferocity, the frantic desperation, the confusion and
self-abandonment of war. Dutchman and Swede commingled, tugged,
panted, and blowed. The heavens were darkened with a tempest of
missives. Bang! went the guns; whack! went the broad-swords; thump!
went the cudgels; crash! went the musket-stocks; blows, kicks,
cuffs, scratches, black eyes and bloody noses swelling the horrors
of the scene! Thick thwack, cut and hack, helter-skelter,
higgledy-piggledy, hurly-burly, head-over-heels, rough-and-tumble!
Dunder and blixum! swore the Dutchmen; splitter and splutter! cried
the Swedes. Storm the works! shouted Hardkoppig Peter. Fire the
mine! roared stout Risingh. Tanta-rar-ra-ra! twanged the trumpet of
Antony Van Corlear;--until all voice and sound became
unintelligible,--grunts of pain, yells of fury, and shouts of
triumph mingling in one hideous clamor. The earth shook as if
struck with a paralytic stroke; trees shrunk aghast, and withered
at the sight; rocks burrowed in the ground like rabbits; and even
Christina Creek turned from its course and ran up a hill in
breathless terror!
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