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Page 70
"Will she get through?" she said timidly.
"Oh, don't you fear, Sarah," said one of the women, kindly enough. "She
will be all right. Bless you, I've been through it five times myself,
and I am none the worse. And when it's over she'll be as comfortable as
never was. It seems worth it then."
A man suddenly turned the corner of the street; he was dressed in a
shabby overcoat with a bowler hat, and he carried a bag in his hand. He
came past us. He looked a busy, overtried man, but he had a
good-humoured air. He nodded pleasantly to the women. One said:
"You are wanted badly in there, doctor."
"Yes," he said cheerfully, "I am making all the haste I can. Where's
John?"
"Oh, he's at work," said the woman. "He didn't expect it to-day. But
he's better out of the way: he 'd be no good; he'd only be interfering
and grumbling; but I'll come across with you, and when it's over, I'll
just run down and tell him."
"That's right," said the doctor, "come along--the nurse will be round
in a minute; and I can make things easy meantime."
Strange to say, it had hardly dawned upon me what was happening. I
turned to Amroth, who stood there smiling, but a little pale, his arm in
mine; fresh and upright, with his slim and graceful limbs, his bright
curled hair, a strange contrast to the slatternly women and the
heavily-built doctor.
"So this," he said, "is where I am to spend a few years; my new father
is a hardworking man, I believe, perhaps a little given to drink but
kind enough; and I daresay some of these children are my brothers and
sisters. A score of years or more to spend here, no doubt! Well, it
might be worse. You will think of me while you can, and if you have the
time, you may pay me a visit, though I don't suppose I shall recognise
you."
"It seems rather dreadful to me," said I, "I must confess! Who would
have thought that I should have forgotten my visions so soon? Amroth,
dear, I can't bear this--that you should suffer such a change."
"Sentiment again, brother," said Amroth. "To me it is curious and
interesting, even exciting. Well, good-bye; my time is just up, I
think."
The doctor had gone into the house, and the cries died away. A moment
after a woman in the dress of a nurse came quickly along the street,
knocked, opened the door, and went in. I could see into the room, a
poorly furnished one. A girl sat nursing a baby by the fire, and looked
very much frightened. A little boy played in the corner. A woman was
bustling about, making some preparations for a meal.
"Let me do you the honours of my new establishment," said Amroth with a
smile. "No, dear man, don't go with me any farther. We will part here,
and when we meet again we shall have some new stories to tell. Bless
you." He took his hand from my arm, caught up my hand, kissed it, said,
"There, that is for you," and disappeared smiling into the house.
A moment later there came the cry of a new-born child from the window
above. The doctor came out and went down the street; one of the women
joined him and walked with him. A few minutes later she returned with a
young and sturdy workman, looking rather anxious.
"It's all right," I heard her say, "it's a fine boy, and Annie is doing
well--she'll be about again soon enough."
They disappeared into the house, and I turned away.
XXXV
It is difficult to describe the strange emotions with which the
departure of Amroth filled me. I think that, when I first entered the
heavenly country, the strongest feeling I experienced was the sense of
security--the thought that the earthly life was over and done with, and
that there remained the rest and tranquillity of heaven. What I cannot
even now understand is this. I am dimly aware that I have lived a great
series of lives, in each of which I have had to exist blindly, not
knowing that my life was not bounded and terminated by death, and only
darkly guessing and hoping, in passionate glimpses, that there might be
a permanent life of the soul behind the life of the body. And yet, at
first, on entering the heavenly country, I did not remember having
entered it before; it was not familiar to me, nor did I at first recall
in memory that I had been there before. The earthly life seems to
obliterate for a time even the heavenly memory. But the departure of
Amroth swept away once and for all the sense of security. One felt of
the earthly life, indeed, as a busy man may think of a troublesome visit
he has to pay, which breaks across the normal current of his life, while
he anticipates with pleasure his return to the usual activities of home
across the interval of social distraction, which he does not exactly
desire, but yet is glad that it should intervene, if only for the
heightened sense of delight with which he will resume his real life. I
had been happy in heaven, though with periods of discontent and moments
of dismay. But I no longer desired a dreamful ease; I only wished
passionately to be employed. And now I saw that I must resign all
expectation of that. As so often happens, both on earth and in heaven, I
had found something of which I was not in search, while the work which I
had estimated so highly, and prepared myself so ardently for, had never
been given to me to do at all.
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