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Page 69
"Yes," I said to Amroth, "I am content. I had thought that I should be
exalted and elated by my privileges; but I have no thought or dream of
that. I only desire to go where I am sent, to do what is desired of me.
I have laid my burden down."
XXXIV
Presently Amroth rose, and said that we must be going onward.
"And now," he said, "I have a further thing to tell you, and that is
that I have very soon to leave you. To bring you hither was the last of
my appointed tasks, and my work is now done. It is strange to remember
how I bore you in my arms out of life, like a little sleeping child, and
how much we have been together."
"Do not leave me now," I said to Amroth. "There seems so much that I
have to ask you. And if your work with me is done, where are you now
going?"
"Where am I going, brother?" said Amroth. "Back to life again, and
immediately. And there is one thing more that is permitted, and that is
that you should be with me to the last. Strange that I should have
attended you here, to the very crown and sum of life, and that you
should now attend me where I am going! But so it is."
"And what do you feel about it?" I said.
"Oh," said Amroth, "I do not like it, of course. To be so free and
active here, and to be bound again in the body, in the close, suffering,
ill-savoured house of life! But I have much to gain by it. I have a
sharpness of temper and a peremptoriness--of which indeed," he said,
smiling, "you have had experience. I am fond of doing things in my own
way, inconsiderate of others, and impatient if they do not go right. I
am hard, and perhaps even vulgar. But now I am going like a board to the
carpenter, to have some of my roughness planed out of me, and I hope to
do better."
"Well," I said, "I am too full of wonder and hope just now to be alarmed
for you. I could even wish I were myself departing. But I have a desire
to see Cynthia again."
"Yes," said Amroth, "and you will see her; but you will not be long
after me, brother; comfort yourself with that!"
We walked a little farther across the moorland, talking softly at
intervals, till suddenly I discerned a solitary figure which was
approaching us swiftly.
"Ah," said Amroth, "my time has indeed come. I am summoned."
He waved his hand to the man, who came up quickly and even breathlessly,
and handed Amroth a sealed paper. Amroth tore it open, read it
smilingly, gave a nod to the officer, saying "Many thanks." The officer
saluted him; he was a brisk young man, with a fresh air; and he then,
without a word, turned from us and went over the moorland.
"Come," said Amroth, "let us descend. You can do this for yourself now;
you do not need my help." He took my hand, and a mist enveloped us.
Suddenly the mist broke up and streamed away. I looked round me in
curiosity.
We were standing in a very mean street of brick-built houses, with
slated roofs; over the roofs we could see a spire, and the chimneys of
mills, spouting smoke. The houses had tiny smoke-dried gardens in front
of them. At the end of the street was an ugly, ill-tended field, on
which much rubbish lay. There were some dirty children playing about,
and a few women, with shawls over their heads, were standing together
watching a house opposite. The window of an upper room was open, and out
of it came cries and moans.
"It's going very badly with her," said one of the women, "poor soul; but
the doctor will be here soon. She was about this morning too. I had a
word with her, and she was feeling very bad. I said she ought to be in
bed, but she said she had her work to do first."
The women glanced at the window with a hushed sort of sympathy. A young
woman, evidently soon to become a mother, looked pale and apprehensive.
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