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Page 45
"I told you he was only going to see father."
"Yes, and so did I," another said. "What was the good of rushing about
looking for your cuffs?"
"I didn't rush about!"
"Yes, you did!"
"Hush! I wonder what he wants with father?" said Mrs. Sparre. All were
silent, but they could not hear anything of the conversation which was
going on in the other room.
Mr. Johnsen had come to ask the dean to fulfil the promise he had made
to him some weeks previously, and to kindly give him permission to
preach in the church the next Sunday. The dean had not forgotten his
promise, and was only too glad to have an opportunity of fulfilling it.
He also begged to thank Mr. Johnsen for his goodness in offering to
assist him in his duties.
As far as that went, answered Mr. Johnsen, he would not conceal from him
that it was not so much consideration for the weight of his duties which
had impelled him to make the request. He must confess, that it was
rather that he wished to have an opportunity of addressing the
congregation on a personal matter.
The dean could quite feel that his connection with the school would lead
to the desire of speaking a few words to the parents of the children who
were entrusted to his care.
But this again was not exactly the subject on which Mr. Johnsen wished
to speak. There were many things which might weigh on the mind and
oppress the thoughts. It would be better, once for all, to disburden the
conscience by coming forward honestly and truthfully.
The dean allowed that the idea was only natural. It was the duty of
every Christian, and especially of a clergyman, to speak truthfully. But
sincerity was a rare virtue, and was often hidden under the changing
circumstances of life. But great care would be necessary. It was of the
first importance to examine closely both one's mind and one's
composition.
Johnsen was able to say honestly that he had arrived at his conclusions
after earnest thought and conscientious inquiry, and that his conviction
was the result of many lonely hours of self-examination.
The dean could assure him that he well knew these lonely hours of
thought, and great was the blessing that might be found in them; but he
would venture to suggest what he knew from his own experience, that the
problems which a man worked out alone were not always the most
trustworthy. He would, therefore, remind him of the passage where we are
recommended to confess to each other, which seemed to suggest working in
fellowship, and giving each other mutual assistance.
Johnsen answered that that was the very reason why he wished to speak to
the congregation.
The two sat on opposite sides of the dean's table, regarding each other
attentively. Johnsen was pale and had something nervous about his
manner, which seemed to betoken a wish to bring the interview to a
close.
Dean Sparre sat leaning back in his armchair, and in his hand he held a
large ivory paper-knife, which he used to emphasize his words; not,
indeed, for the purpose of gesticulating or striking on the table, but
every now and then, when he came to some particular point, he drew the
knife up and down on the sheets of paper which lay before him.
To speak the thoughts plainly before the congregation was certainly
desirable in itself, and entirely in accordance with Scripture. But it
was quite easy to imagine that a man might want to make other
confessions which should not be for every ear. The Church had,
therefore, another and more restricted form of confession, which was not
only just as much in accordance with Scripture, but might often be still
better adapted to ease the troubled heart.
Johnsen got up to take his leave. He felt a great wish to speak before
the congregation. It was, in his opinion, of the greatest importance
that he should have a perfectly clear idea of his own views, and that
there should be nothing obscure or insincere between him and his
hearers.
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