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Page 5
A Guy in Fustian and a Red Comforter rose excitedly to protest against
the last speaker's proposals, which he declared were an insult to
their common Guyhood. They might have come down in the world, but
hitherto, whatever might be said of them, they had, at least, never
rendered themselves publicly ridiculous. Now they were asked to
degrade themselves by accepting the ignominious position of London
Statues! Was there a Guy who would ever hold up his head again, after
such an infamous surrender of his self-respect and independence?
He felt it his duty to denounce the Guy who was guilty of such a
suggestion as a wolf, in sheep's clothing, a base traitor to his
order, and a paid spy!
[_Intense excitement; charges and countercharges, and vain
attempts by the Chair-guy to restore order. Several Guys,
unable to control their indignation any longer, exploded, and
the Meeting finally dispersed without attempting to pass any
resolution, amidst a scene of indescribable confusion._
* * * * *
A PATRON OF THE GAIETY THEATRE AND MODERN VARIETY EXTRAVAGANZA
SHOW ANTICIPATED BY CHARLES DICKENS.--"There's a lot of feet in
SHAKSPEARE's verse, but there ain't any legs worth mentioning in
SHAKSPEARE's Plays. * * * What the people call dramatic poetry is a
collection of sermons. Do I go to the theatre to be lectured? No,
PIP. If I wanted that, I'd go to church. What's the legitimate object
of the Drama, PIP? Human nature. What are legs? Human nature. Then
let us have plenty of leg-pieces, PIP, and I'll stand by you, my
buck!"--_Martin Chuzzlewit_.
N.B.--This is the Pip of our puzzle to Dickensian Students last week.
The reference, chapter and verse, was given immediately by Mr. COMYNS
CARR, who, on the spot received his reward, and went away rejoicing.
We regret that there are no second and third prizes, otherwise Messrs.
WALTER WREN and VAN TROMP would have been "placed."--ED.
* * * * *
REFRESHERS.
"The LORD CHIEF JUSTICE said, 'The extent to which Refreshers are
carried in these days makes my historical mouth water. In my younger
days at the Bar'--"
[Illustration]
(_Cue for Song._)
"In my younger days at the Bar, Tra la la la!" &c.
* * * * *
THE NEW BROOM, AND THE BLACK PEERAGE.
(_RHYME BY A RAD._)
[Lord SALISBURY, in his article in the _National Review_ for
November, makes fun of Mr. FREDERIC HARRISON's assertion that
the Government could, at a pinch, secure a majority in the
Upper Chamber by elevating five hundred Sweeps (which Lord
S. calls the "Black Peerage") to the House of Lords, with the
assent of the Crown.]
Five hundred? Good gracious! there's no need of that.
"Black Peerage," indeed! Though as black as my hat,
They could hardly be blacker than SALISBURY's lot;
But to talk of such sooty recruits is sheer rot.
That bad Upper House to reform--or degrade--
We don't want the charge of this queer Dark Brigade.
Five hundred? FRED HARRISON, you _are_ a green one!
_I_'d settle the business with _one_ sweep--_a clean one_!
* * * * *
THE COURT JESTERS.
[Illustration: An Inhabitant of Noah's Ark.]
Thanks to Messrs. SIMS and RALEIGH and the Court Company for a good
hearty laugh, and many of them at their new three-act farcical comedy,
_The Guardsman_. It Raleigh is good, and Sims likely to be in for a
long run. Therefore, congratulations to Mr. CHUDLEIGH, who is in the
proud position of "Sole Lessee and Manager," of the Court. Odd, as a
correspondent remarked in a letter to _Mr. Punch_ last week, is the
coincidental resemblance of the master-motive of the plot to that of
_Incognita_ at the Lyric; viz., the young man refusing to marry the
girl with whom he is really in love, because he is in love with the
very same young lady without knowing her name or anything about her.
But hath not the old Spanish Comedy-writer, GONZALES, used it three
times? hath not his fellow-countryman, VEGA MORVEGA, used it in his
now obsolete play of _The Distressed Mother_? and hath not VODENDOL,
the Norwegian dramatist, absolutely nauseated us with it, not to
mention its constant use by that imitation of GOLDONI, Count ERFITO
D'ALUMINIO? And to come nearer home, did not the German--but why
pursue the "motive" until you run it to earth, and even then it won't
be killed, but will be flourishing thousands of years hence, when the
New Zealand playwright among the ruins of London shall take up his
note-book and commence a scenario on the old, but to him, quite
original idea.
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