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Page 4
A Guy said that, in his opinion, their decline was entirely due to
their inability to supply themselves with the apparel necessary and
suitable to their calling. What were their duties? Why, to keep alive
the memory of their famous Founder, the author of the great, and
never-to-be-forgotten Gunpowder Plot--he need hardly say he alluded
to GUIDO FAWKES! (_Enthusiastic and prolonged cheering._) He was no
scholar himself--he had never enjoyed a University education--and he
did not pretend to be an authority on historical costume. Still, he
felt safe in asserting that a Guy who, like himself, was compelled to
represent their glorious Predecessor in an old tail coat, a pair of
baggy tweed trousers, and a pot hat with a hole through the crown,
did so under a cruel disadvantage. He had heard that, in former times,
every Guy was sent out provided, as a matter of course, with a dark
lantern and a box of matches. Who ever saw a Guy so equipped nowadays?
They had been robbed of the very implements of their trade by the
grasping greed of their so-called superiors. (_Shame!_) In his opinion
every Guy had a right to be furnished with the correct costume of
the period--whatever that might be--at the public expense. (_Loud
cheers._)
A Guy in a Cocked Hat said he did not think the previous speaker had
mentioned the real cause of their fallen fortunes--their _clothes_
were right enough; they had to thank their own shortsighted policy for
their present position--yes, he was there to speak plainly, as Guy
to Guy, and he told them that it was nothing short of social suicide
for a Guy to carry about a placard, such as he saw too many of them
wearing that evening, inscribed with the name of a recent murderer
or some other popular but ephemeral favourite. (_Some murmuring._)
_That_ was not the way to preserve the name and fame of their revered
Chief. No; let every Guy be true to himself and his order, let him
indignantly refuse to sully his descent by such vulgar and unworthy
devices, and then--(_Uproar, amidst which the Speaker was compelled to
resume his seat._)
A Guy in a Blue Mask, who carried a placard bearing the name of
the Ex-Premier, described the remarks of both his brother Guys as
pestilent drivel. It was not clothes that made the Guy. A Guy was a
Guy in any guise! (_Loud cheers._) But no Guy ever rose in the world
yet without combustibles of some sort inside him, and how many of
them ever knew what it was to get their fill of crackers? They were
starving amidst an abundance of squibs! Society was responsible, and
must be forced to do its duty. He had had enough of it, he meant to
get a good blow-out before he was much older, he could tell them, and
if the Government refused to provide it free, he must loot a firework
factory, that was all--he was ready to lead the way--if they would
follow! (_Applause._)
A Guy in a Yellow Mask said he was in favour of proceeding by
peaceable and constitutional methods if possible. Much could be done
by organising and bringing their grievances before Parliament, with
a view to remedial legislation. They might begin by agitating for
the Franchise. "One Guy, one vote!" would be a popular cry just now,
when some Electoral Reforms were believed to be in contemplation.
Fortunately they had a Home Secretary whom they might reasonably hope
to find sympathetic--he thought they should ascertain his views before
taking any other steps.
A Guy in a Pink Mask said he had organised till he was sick of it. As
for the Home Secretary, he happened to have headed a deputation to
the Home Office that very afternoon--and what did the Meeting think
was the result? Why, the Home Secretary had declined to receive him!
(_Shame!_) Ah, he might call himself a Radical--but did he treat a Guy
as a Man and a Brother? Did he recognise that, creatures of rags and
shavings as they were, they had their feelings? Not he! they were all
alike, these politicians, directly they got into office. How long, he
asked them, were Guys to be chivied, and harried, and moved along into
back-streets by the brutal minions of a corrupt middle-class? If they
wanted to get their rights, they must make themselves a nuisance to
the Authorities, like other people. It was all very fine to talk about
the Franchise, and "One Guy, one vote!" and all the rest of it, but
they all knew that Home Rule blocked the way at present. They must go
to Trafalgar Square in their thousands; it was the finest place for a
bonfire in all London, and they had been kept out of it long enough.
_He_ meant to go, if he had to be carried there! (_Loud cheers._)
A Guy in Spectacles and a Tall Hat, said that a demonstration in
the Square would, no doubt, be an excellent way of drawing public
attention to their wrongs. He advised that when they had succeeded
in capturing the Square, they should proceed to pass a resolution
calling upon the London County Council to find instant and permanent
employment for such Guys as were out of work. (_Cheers._) They could
do it easily enough if they liked, and he would tell them how. All
over London, nay, in the very Square itself, there were innumerable
pedestals at present usurped by Statues which were a disgrace to the
Metropolis. All the Council had to do was to remove those Statues from
positions they had so long abused, and promote the most deserving and
destitute Guys to fill their places. (_Uproar._)
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