|
Main
- books.jibble.org
My Books
- IRC Hacks
Misc. Articles
- Meaning of Jibble
- M4 Su Doku
- Computer Scrapbooking
- Setting up Java
- Bootable Java
- Cookies in Java
- Dynamic Graphs
- Social Shakespeare
External Links
- Paul Mutton
- Jibble Photo Gallery
- Jibble Forums
- Google Landmarks
- Jibble Shop
- Free Books
- Intershot Ltd
|
books.jibble.org
Previous Page
| Next Page
Page 12
Well, I passes over all prelimmenerry derangements, till we finds
ourselves on board a lovly steemer, bound for Old Ireland, as we allus
calls her, tho' I don't spose as she's any older than the rest on us.
It was that ruff that I perposed waitin till the sea got smooth; but
my Master ony larft, and sed I shood be all rite if I follered his
adwice, as he was used to the sea, and rayther liked it a little
ruffish. So he got me a sheet of brown paper to put on my manly chest,
and gave me some champane, and one glass of Perettic Sline, I think he
called it, and, with their ade, I got over much better than I xpected.
We went as strate as we coud go to the Lakes of Killarny, and if that
isn't jest about as lovly a plaice as the hole world can show, why
then let sumbody show me another as is. If anyboddy arsked me if it
never rained there, truth wood make me say yes, it most suttenly does
sumtimes, but then so it does ewerywheres in ollidy time excep where
it's most speshally wanted.
My Guvner's fust harty larf was at dinner on the fust day, when he
told me to ring for sum pepper. TIM the Waiter arnsered the bell, and
I told him what was wanted, and I scarce xpecs to be bleeved when I
says, as he cums back and he says, says he, "If you plase, Sir, sure
the Pepper's engaged!" I thort the Guvner wood ha larfed hisself
hill, but he soon recovered, and said, "Thin niver mind TIM, we'll
do without it to-day, but let us have fust turn at it to-morrow."
"Suttenly, your honour," says TIM, and wanishes.
The next day, after driving us round the naybourhood, he came in
without being arsked, and goes to the fire and warms his hands, and
then says with a broad grin, "Sure it's a jolly lucky cupple as you
are, for the rains a bustin down like thunder!" When handing the
unpeeled Potatows to the Guvner he wood pint his finger at one and
say, "That's a rale buty, Sir!"
I spose as the Guvner was rayther libberal to TIM, when we left, as
all reel gennelmen allus is, for the tears acshally came into the
pore feller's eyes, and he blessed us both, and wished as a few more
genelman like _us_ woud sumtimes wisit poor old Ireland!
We stayed about a fortnight, but we didn't see another Waiter like
poor TIM, who was the werry fust humane being as hever called me a
gennelman, pore feller! but we had a werry nice time of it on the
hole, which I may p'raps elude to sum day, when things ain't quite so
brisk as they is just now, and I must say as my Guvner behaved like
the reel Gennelman as he is, when we cum for to settel up.
ROBERT.
* * * * *
SECUNDUM HARTY.
["I have even gone so low as 1d. a course ... with enough
success as to elicit effusive eulogies from some distinguished
literary persons ..."--_Mr. Ernest Hart in "Where are the
Cooks?"--Daily Graphic, Oct. 18._]
Oh! where are the Cooks; where on earth can they be?
Pray, hark to the Housekeeper's pitiful moan.
Mr. HART seems to know, and he tells us, with glee,
Of a plan which is his, and is his, too, alone.
It's a plan for a dinner, that's easily shown
To be cheap, and of pleasure the joy-giving source,
'Tis a wonderful plan--hear the epicure groan--
It costs just exactly one penny a course.
The dinner's Hartistic. Sweet HART says that he
Had a meal fit to soften the heart of a stone,
There were guests men of letters, and lofty degree--
Who wore pleased, and not only saw fit to condone,
But who ransacked each country, land, continent, zone,
For encomiums of praise, till they really grew hoarse.
But would they have done so, had only they known
It cost just exactly one penny a course?
Yes, a penny a head. It's not easy to see
How it's done for the price of a bun or a scone.
When the Mistress and Cook find it hard to agree,
And the former of these is provokingly prone
With the latter to pick a most terrible bone,
When it seems that disaster must follow perforce,
Oh! whisper them this in a Hart rending tone--
It costs just exactly one penny a course!
Previous Page
| Next Page
|
|