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Page 11
II. (_a._) Give the latitude and longitude of Timbuctoo. (_b._) State
the number and religious belief of its inhabitants. (_c._) Discuss
its natural advantages; (i.), as a port, and (ii.) as a centre for
missionary enterprise.
III. (_a._) Is a missionary best when served (i.) _au naturel_; (ii.)
_� la ma�tre d'h�tel_, or, (iii.) _aux pet�tes livrettes de psaumes_?
Discuss the advantages of each method of preparation; (_b._) Quote any
advice given by (i.) LUCULLUS, or (ii.) EPICURUS on this subject.
IV. What version of the Prayer-book is in use amongst the natives of
Central Africa?
V. Discuss the authorship of the poem entitled _Timbuctoo_, and adduce
any reasons for believing JULIUS C�SAR to have written it.
* * * * *
THE OTHER PAPER.--MR. NEWNES is bringing out a rival to the _Pall
Mall Gazette_, Is it to be published before the _P.M.G._, or later in
the day? If the first, its title might be _The Noon's Paper_; if the
latter, _The After-Newnes Paper_. Whichever you like, my little dear!
Mr. N. pays his money and takes his choice. Anyhow, "NEWNES' Paper" is
a marketable commodity.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE HUNTING SEASON. THE MEET.]
* * * * *
THE STEPNEY THAT COSTS.
["The circumstances will indeed have to be very remarkable
to take two Judges into Stepney."--_Baron Pollock, re Stepney
Election Petition, Oct. 26._]
I chanced to meet a man the other day,
Whose store of legal knowledge was amazing,
He stormed at me in quite the stormiest way,
With, fiery indignation simply blazing.
I wondered if he'd lost his (legal) hair
(Forgive the phrase) against a demi-rep? Nay!
They'd really ventured to presume to dare
To ask a Judge or two to go to Stepney!
Now if it had been merely Peekham Rye,
They would have gone at once, and gone right gladly.
Then Brondesbury, Barnet--New or High,--
Or Shepherd's Bush would not have done so badly.
Penge would have brought the Crystal Palace near,
And Kensington's Olympia made their soul burn,
They'd have enjoyed the jaunt to Greenwich Pier,
And Heaven had been synonymous with Holborn.
Oh! had it been Soho or Maida Vale
It would have been of course another story. A
Delightful trip to Euston could not fail
To please as much as Broad Street or Victoria.
Belgravia would have suited very well,
They could have done with Balham, Bow, or Brixton,
With Flower-laden Battersea. But tell
Me if you can--oh! why was Stepney fixt on?
* * * * *
ROBERT'S VISIT TO IRELAND.
[Illustration: "I was that staggered, that I could 'ardly answer
him."]
Well, it isn't for one like me to say as how as good luck means wirtue
rewarded, cos I have, in my long xperiense, seen not a werry few cases
where it wasn't so--no, not by no manner of means.
But this I can most trewly say, that my slice of luck during this
larst munth is worthy of being called a reel staggerer! And this is
how it cum about:--
The Amerrycain Gent, at the Grand Hotel, wanted a change for about a
weak or two, and he naterally arsked me what he shood do. I made lots
of wise suggeshons, in course, such as Margate, and Grinnidge, and
Hern Bay, and other hily arristercratick places, but they none on 'em
woodn't do. So presently he calls out, "Did you ever go to Ireland?"
I was that staggered, that I coud ardly arnser him; but then I says,
"Yes, Sir--but it were sum time ago." Then he staggers me much more
wiolently, for he says, says he, "Why shoudn't you go with me then,
and be my Wally!" When I recovered my breth, I says, "I don't know
as our gentelmanly Manager here woud spare me." So he says, "I'll
soon see about that." So he rings the bell wiolently, and arsks
for him--and he cums--and, to my serprize, he doesn't make not no
objecshun at all, which was, in course, werry complementary to me,
and, strange to say, no more did Mrs. ROBERT, when I told her of it.
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