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Page 3
* * * * *
THE COUNTY-COUNCILLOR'S DIARY.
(_A FEW YEARS HENCE._)
_Monday_.--To-day's meeting of the Council rather stormy. The
Council's Clerk of the Works, who superintends the fifty thousand
builders, bricklayers, &c., who are now employed directly by us,
reports that, unless the concessions demanded by the men are granted,
they will all go out on strike to-morrow. The concessions are--Free
beer three times a-day; half-holiday every other day at full day's
wages; and a month's trip to the Riviera in winter, paid for out of
the rates. Clerk of the Works (appointed, on elective principle, by
the men themselves) describes these demands as "highly moderate and
reasonable." Council unable to agree with him. After sitting for six
hours, amid frightful uproar, Council breaks up, without coming to any
decision.
_Tuesday_.--Workmen _have_ struck! Awkward, as they have just pulled
down north side of Strand, to make room for double lines of electric
tramways in centre of roadway, and whole street in an awful litter.
Begin to wish we had not "Abolished the Contractor" quite so hastily.
_Wednesday_.--Another meeting of Council. Quite unanimous to go on
resisting men's demands. Clerk of Works reports that the Council's
scavengers, plumbers, carters, lamp-lighters, and turncocks, are all
threatening to strike, in sympathy with bricklayers. In consequence of
evident enjoyment with which Clerk makes this announcement, proposal
to decrease his salary from that of a Lord Chancellor to that of a
Puisne Judge, carried _nem. con_. In spite of attacks on Council in
the Press, satisfactory that it knows how to keep up its dignity at
this crisis.
_Thursday_.--Matters getting serious. A deep fall of snow has
occurred, and Council's men refuse to clear it away, or let others do
the work! In addition, Strand tradesmen come in body to Spring Gardens
to say that "nobody can get near their shops, and they are being
rapidly ruined." Hastily-convened meeting of the Council. Proposal
to ask our old Contractor to rebuild Strand and clear snow away. Our
old Contractor declines to tender for the job! He says, "Council has
abolished the Middleman, and had better get on without him, if it
can!" Rude, but forcible.
_Friday_.--Council heroically decides to do the work itself. Am told
off by Chairman to help remove old bricks on the Strand site. Have
first to dig snow away to get at bricks. Intense amusement of hostile
crowd, from whom we are protected by a cordon of police. Bark my
shins badly against wheel of cart. Chairman--who has been extremely
energetic in running up and down a ladder with a hod of mortar over
his shoulder, which he thinks is bricklaying--falls from ladder and is
taken off to Charing Cross Hospital; amid shower of brickbats. Crowd
wants to know "which is McDOUGALL." When they find out, pelt him with
snowballs. BURNS--who has stuck loyally to Council--fiercely denounced
as a "blackleg" by crowd. Amusing at any other time. Home in evening
dead tired, under police escort. Find all my front windows smashed!
After all--_was_ it wise to abolish the Contractor?
_Saturday_.--Whole County Council, protected by several regiments from
Aldershot, a park of Artillery, and all the City Police (Council's
own Police being out on strike, in sympathy with bricklayers), manage
with great difficulty to fill ten carts with rubbish, and then adjourn
to Spring Gardens. Refreshments and free sticking-plaster handed
round before Meeting takes place. Meeting unanimously decides to
re-establish old Middleman system! Sir JOHN LUBBOCK humorously
suggests that it is, at any rate, better than the "muddle-man" system
which we have tried and found wanting. Bonus of �5,000 out of rates,
enthusiastically voted to any Contractor who will tender for job of
clearing snow and widening Strand.
_Later_.--High Court disallows our "precept" for the �5,000
bonus--says we must pay it out of our own pockets!
Wish I had never stood for London County Council!
* * * * *
ROBERT'S COMPANIONS. NO. 2.
Another of our speshal lot is good old SAM, with his wunderfool
memmery. He won't tell not nobody his age. But he acshally swears
as he remembers the time when there wasn't not no Cabs, nor no
Homnybusses nor no Hallways, nor no Steam Botes, nor no Perlice, in
all Lundon! And when there was grate droves of Cattel and Sheep druv
thro' the streets, and people used to have to put up bars at their
doors to keep 'em out. And menny and menny a time has he seen a reel
live Bullock march into his Master's Counting 'Ouse, with his two wild
horns a sticking out, and as it was to narrer for him to turn hisself
round, he used to have to be backed out tale foremost, with a fierce
dog a barking at his nose.
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