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Page 7
7. Wanderlust.--As a cause of family desertion this has probably been
overestimated. Some item of this sort appears in every list of causes of
desertion which has ever been compiled, and there are more or less
exceptional cases in which it probably plays a part. The boy who becomes
a vagabond in childhood and early takes to the road does not, however,
seem to be a marrying man; and the instances from case work in which it
is clear that the thirst for adventure was at the bottom of desertion
are rare. The man whose line of work before marriage led him from place
to place seems, in fact, hardly to contribute his quota to the ranks of
wife-deserters, and it is unusual to find sailors or other wanderers
from force of circumstance figuring among them.
8. Money Troubles.--As has already been said, it is impossible to show
any direct relation between small incomes and desertion. The connection
between low wage and non-support is of course a great deal closer. The
inadequate income unquestionably acts indirectly to break down family
morale in much the same way as does lowered physical vitality.
But marital discord that springs from the _handling_ of the family
finances is another matter, and it recurs regularly in the history of
what went on prior to desertion. One deserter, traced to a southern
city, returned voluntarily and begged the assistance of the social
worker interested to reform his wife's spending habits. "I made good
money and I never opened my pay envelope on her," said he, "but the
week's wages was always gone by Thursday." Many men, however, who make a
boast of turning over unbroken pay envelopes to their wives borrow back
so much in daily advances that their net contribution is only a fraction
of their wages.
Some desertions brought about by financial difficulties are not,
strictly speaking, marital problems at all. Debts resulting from his own
extravagance or dishonesty may cause a man to leave home to escape
prosecution or disgrace. One such man kept in touch with his family,
sending money at irregular intervals for some years, but always moving
on to another place before he could be found. It proved impossible to
get in communication with him, and finally he stopped writing and
disappeared.
9. Ill Health: Physical Debility.--All social workers agree that
physical condition plays a part, though usually only indirectly and
secondarily, in causing desertion. In the man, it may lower his
vitality, cause irregular work, and superinduce a condition of
despondency and readiness to give in. In the woman, it brings about
careless housekeeping, loss of attractiveness, and disinclination to
marital intercourse--all factors which contribute directly to desertion.
Continued ill health of the wife brings burdens, financial and other,
which may help through discouragement to break down the husband's
morale.
There should be included here some consideration of one of the most
puzzling types of abandonment--the "pregnancy desertion." Attempts have
been made to explain it on the ground of the instinctive aversion of the
male sex for domestic crises. But the impulse that causes the
prosperous householder to move to his club when house-cleaning time
arrives will hardly serve to explain such a custom, and as a matter of
fact other domestic crises, such as illnesses of the children, do not
have any such effect upon the man who habitually absents himself from
home before the birth of each child. Other possible reasons for it are
the well-known irritability and "difficulty" of women in this condition,
and their aversion to sexual intercourse. Some pregnancy deserters take
the step in the hope that their wives will bring about an abortion; but
this is a modern and sophisticated development and the institution of
"pregnancy desertion" is one of undoubted antiquity. Its prevalence
among certain European immigrants would almost point to its being a
racial tradition. Ethnologists who have studied strange marriage
customs, such as the "couvade," ought to turn their attention to
discovering the causes of this other and socially more important marital
vagary.
10. Temperamental Incompatibility.--It is difficult to catalogue and
appraise the causal factors in desertion that lie in personality. They
are closely related to differences in background and are intimately
involved with the sex relations of the pair. We cannot, however, admit
that they are identical with the latter, as some students of the subject
claim; or that the only incompatibility in marriage is sex
incompatibility. Indeed, two people may be so incompatible as to find in
sex their only common ground.
The commonest of these temperamental differences center about
standards of right and wrong or proper and improper conduct.
Especially is this manifested in the bringing up of the children.
Extreme self-righteousness on the part of one or the other, nagging
and petty criticism, unreasonable jealousy, "sulking spells," violent
quarrels, are some of its manifestations. The idea of _possession_
exercised by either of the couple, and especially a tendency to
dominate or try to control on the part of the woman, may be a causal
factor in desertion. The lack of a saving sense of humor in one or
both is often a complicating factor. These comparatively minor
differences take on a serious complexion in the minds of the couple;
and it is surprising how often a deserting man will give promptly and
with every appearance of feeling justified some cause for his
desertion which falls clearly under this head. "People forgive each
other the big things; it's the little things they can't forgive."
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