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Page 2
"One hundred thousand tons of sugar is wasted each year," says
Mrs. PEEL, "through being left in the bottom of the teacup." A
correspondent points out that if that amount has ever been left in the
bottom of his teacup it was an oversight.
***
The German people, says the _K�lnische Zeitung_, will not soon
forget what they owe to their future Emperor. The CROWN PRINCE, while
thanking them for their kindly intention, privately expressed a wish
that they would not keep rubbing it in.
***
According to _The Express_, every British theatrical star who plays in
America is regarded as the best that England has ever sent out. Until
he has heard from Mr. CHARLES CHAPLIN, Sir HERBERT TREE is holding
back his message, which reads, "That is so."
***
A workman at a brewery last week fell into a large vat of beer. It is
given to few men thus to realise the dream of a lifetime.
***
All vendors of comic postcards at Llanfairfeehan, North Wales, are
to be asked by the Town Council to cover them up on Sundays. We
understand that comic postcards may be differentiated from others by
the word "Comic" plainly printed on the card.
***
_The Daily Mail_ has just celebrated its twenty-first birthday, and
the silence of the POET LAUREATE on the matter is being adversely
commented upon.
***
The Anarchist, LENIN, says the Swedish _Dagblad_, has been missing for
two days. Even before that he never really seemed to make a hit.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE BRIBE.
"WHO GOES THERE?" "K--KAMERAD--MIT SOUVENIRS."]
* * * * *
HEREINAFTERS.
I.
There are people in the world called tenants. I think nothing of them;
Celia thinks nothing of them; jointly we do not think anything of
them. However, as this is not so much a grammar as an explanation, I
will get on with it.
For the last two years we have been letting our flat. Naturally Celia
has had to do most of the work; my military duties have prevented
me from taking my share of it. I have been so busy, off and on,
inspecting my fellow-soldiers' feet, seeing their boots mended and
imploring them to get their hair cut that I have had no time for
purely domestic matters. Celia has let the flat; I have merely
allotted the praise or blame afterwards. I have also, of course, taken
the money.
Our tenants have varied, but they are all alike in this. They think
much more of their own comfort as tenants than of our happiness as
landlords. They are always wanting things done for them. When they
want things done for them, then I am firm. Celia may be a shade the
more businesslike of the two, but I am the firmer. I am adamant.
Take the case of Mr. Toots. As the wife of an officer proceeding
overseas, Celia let the flat to Mr. Toots at the nominal rental of
practically nothing a week. I said it was too little when I heard
of it, but it was then too late--Celia had already been referred to
hereinafter as the landlord. When he had been established some
weeks Mr. Toots wrote to say that he wanted seven different kinds of
wine-glasses, six of each. Personally I wanted seven different kinds
of Keating's Powder just then; tastes differ. The trouble with
Mr. Toots was that for some reason he expected Celia to supply the
glasses. Whether he only wanted them during his tenancy or meant
to keep them afterwards, we never knew. In any case Celia was
businesslike; she wrote regretting that she could not supply them.
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