Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 152, May 16, 1917. by Various


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Page 1

A Manchester man writes to say that he has not heard the cuckoo this
year. What England hears to-day Manchester may hear next month.

***

A Norfolk lady has left an annuity of seventy pounds for the support
of her two favourite cats. Since the announcement of this windfall we
understand that the beneficiaries have been overwhelmed with offers of
marriage.

***

"The bascules of the Tower Bridge were lifted 3,354 times last year,"
says a news item. Yet there are those who pretend that petty crime is
on the decrease.

***

Arundel proposes to have a house-to-house collection of bones. The
Borough Engineer is understood to be completing specifications for a
dog-proof trouser which will be a part of the collector's uniform.

***

The Islington Borough Council report that in the Lady Day quarter only
ten per cent, of the residents had removed without paying their rates.
The inhabitants of the New Cut now accuse Islington residents of
losing their nerve.

***

"Ipswich," says a daily paper, "is fighting a rat plague by putting
a penny on the head of every rat captured in the borough." The
arrangement with birds is of course different, You put salt on their
tails and capture them afterwards.

***

The new restrictions on the use of starch will, says Captain BATHURST,
affect the wearing of starched garments. It is expected that in
the House of Lords Lord SPENSER and Lord HARCOURT will join in an
impassioned plea that, until the shortage grows more acute, really
well-dressed men should be allowed to compromise on stiff dickeys.

***

Owing to the surveyor receiving increased powers the work of
conscientious objectors on the roads in East Essex has improved. Mr.
OUTHWAITE, we hear, will ask in Parliament whether under these
powers the surveyor has actually threatened to give one conscientious
objector a good hard slap.

***

We understand that Mexico has promised to stand by America on
condition that if she takes this step on the side of law and order
America will raise no objection to her having a revolution now and
then just to keep her hand in.

***

Allotment-holders in all parts of the country say that their gardens
need rain very badly, and _The Daily Mail_ is going to take the matter
up.

***

It was stated by a defendant at Wandsworth County Court that his house
was haunted, the bell being rung several times without any visible
human instrumentality. The "Hidden Hand" again!

***

To enjoy good health, says Dr. A. FISHER in an American journal, we
should occasionally sleep for twelve hours on end. We confess that
we may be faddy in these things, but when sleeping we prefer the
horizontal position.

***

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Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Tue 7th Jan 2025, 0:01