The Agony Column by Earl Derr Biggers


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Page 38

"Of course! But Mrs. Gray is a darling--she'll fix that all right.
I just want to say, before to-morrow comes--"

"Wouldn't it be better to wait?"

"I can't! I'm on this ship without a ticket. I've got to go down
in a minute and tell the purser that. Maybe he'll throw me
overboard; maybe he'll lock me up. I don't know what they do with
people like me. Maybe they'll make a stoker of me. And then I
shall have to stoke, with no chance of seeing you again. So that's
why I want to say now--I'm sorry I have such a keen imagination.
It carried me away--really it did! I didn't mean to deceive you
with those letters; but, once I got started-- You know, don't you,
that I love you with all my heart? From the moment you came into
the Carlton that morning I--"

"Really--Mr.--Mr.--"

"West--Geoffrey West. I adore you! What can I do to prove it?
I'm going to prove it--before this ship docks in the North River.
Perhaps I'd better talk to your father, and tell him about the
Agony Column and those seven letters--"

"You'd better not! He's in a terribly bad humor. The dinner was
awful, and the steward said we'd be looking back to it and calling
it a banquet before the voyage ends. Then, too, poor dad says he
simply can not sleep in the stateroom they've given him--"

"All the better! I'll see him at once. If he stands for me now
he'll stand for me any time! And, before I go down and beard a
harsh-looking purser in his den, won't you believe me when I say
I'm deeply in love--"

"In love with mystery and romance! In love with your own remarkable
powers of invention! Really, I can't take you seriously--"

"Before this voyage is ended you'll have to. I'll prove to you that
I care. If the purser lets me go free--"

"You have much to prove," the girl smiled. "To-morrow--when Mrs.
Tommy Gray introduces us--I may accept you--as a builder of plots.
I happen to know you are good. But--as-- It's too silly! Better
go and have it out with that purser."

Reluctantly he went. In five minutes he was back. The girl was
still standing by the rail.

"It's all right!" West said. "I thought I was doing something
original, but there were eleven other people in the same fix. One
of them is a billionaire from Wall Street. The purser collected
some money from us and told us to sleep on the deck--if we could
find room."

"I'm sorry," said the girl. "I rather fancied you in the role of
stoker." She glanced about her at the dim deck. "Isn't this
exciting? I'm sure this voyage is going to be filled with mystery
and romance."

"I know it will be full of romance," West answered. "And the
mystery will be--can I convince you--"

"Hush!" broke in the girl. "Here comes father! I shall be very
happy to meet you--to-morrow. Poor dad! he's looking for a place
to sleep."

Five days later poor dad, having slept each night on deck in his
clothes while the ship plowed through a cold drizzle, and having
starved in a sadly depleted dining saloon, was a sight to move the
heart of a political opponent. Immediately after a dinner that
had scarcely satisfied a healthy Texas appetite he lounged gloomily
in the deck chair which was now his stateroom. Jauntily Geoffrey
West came and sat at his side.

"Mr. Larned," he said, "I've got something for you."

And, with a kindly smile, he took from his pocket and handed over
a large, warm baked potato. The Texan eagerly accepted the gift.

"Where'd you get it?" he demanded, breaking open his treasure.

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Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Tue 23rd Dec 2025, 1:59