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Page 36
"Well, this gold village was forty miles up in the mountains, and it
took us nine days to find it. But one afternoon McClintock led the
other mules and myself over a rawhide bridge stretched across a
precipice five thousand feet deep, it seemed to me. The hoofs of the
beasts drummed on it just like before George M. Cohan makes his first
entrance on the stage.
"This village was built of mud and stone, and had no streets. Some
few yellow-and-brown persons popped their heads out-of-doors, looking
about like Welsh rabbits with Worcester sauce on em. Out of the
biggest house, that had a kind of a porch around it, steps a big white
man, red as a beet in color, dressed in fine tanned deerskin clothes,
with a gold chain around his neck, smoking a cigar. I've seen United
States Senators of his style of features and build, also head-waiters
and cops.
"He walks up and takes a look at us, while McClintock disembarks and
begins to interpret to the lead mule while he smokes a cigarette.
"'Hello, Buttinsky,' says the fine man to me. 'How did you get in the
game? I didn't see you buy any chips. Who gave you the keys of the
city?'
"'I'm a poor traveller,' says I. 'Especially mule-back. You'll
excuse me. Do you run a hack line or only a bluff?'
"'Segregate yourself from your pseudo-equine quadruped,' says he, 'and
come inside.'
"He raises a finger, and a villager runs up.
"'This man will take care of your outfit,' says he, 'and I'll take
care of you.'
"He leads me into the biggest house, and sets out the chairs and a
kind of a drink the color of milk. It was the finest room I ever saw.
The stone walls was hung all over with silk shawls, and there was red
and yellow rugs on the floor, and jars of red pottery and Angora goat
skins, and enough bamboo furniture to misfurnish half a dozen seaside
cottages.
"'In the first place,' says the man, 'you want to know who I am. I'm
sole lessee and proprietor of this tribe of Indians. They call me the
Grand Yacuma, which is to say King or Main Finger of the bunch. I've
got more power here than a charge d'affaires, a charge of dynamite,
and a charge account at Tiffany's combined. In fact, I'm the Big
Stick, with as many extra knots on it as there is on the record run of
the Lusitania. Oh, I read the papers now and then,' says he. 'Now,
let's hear your entitlements,' he goes on, 'and the meeting will be
open.'
"'Well,' says I, 'I am known as one W. D. Finch. Occupation,
capitalist. Address, 54' East Thirty-second--'
"'New York,' chips in the Noble Grand. 'I know,' says he, grinning.
'It ain't the first time you've seen it go down on the blotter. I can
tell by the way you hand it out. Well, explain "capitalist."'
"I tells this boss plain what I come for and how I come to came.
"'Gold-dust ?' says he, looking as puzzled as a baby that's got a
feather stuck on its molasses finger. 'That's funny. This ain't a
gold-mining country. And you invested all your capital on a
stranger's story? Well, well! These Indians of mine--they are the
last of the tribe of Peehes--are simple as children. They know
nothing of the purchasing power of gold. I'm afraid you've been
imposed on,' says he.
"'Maybe so,' says I, 'but it sounded pretty straight to me.'
"'W. D.,' says the King, all of a sudden, 'I'll give you a square
deal. It ain't often I get to talk to a white man, and I'll give you
a show for your money. It may be these constituents of mine have a
few grains of gold-dust hid away in their clothes. To-morrow you may
get out these goods you've brought up and see if you can make any
sales. Now, I'm going to introduce myself unofficially. My name is
Shane--Patrick Shane. I own this tribe of Peche Indians by right of
conquest--single handed and unafraid. I drifted up here four years
ago, and won 'em by my size and complexion and nerve. I learned their
language in six weeks-it's easy: you simply emit a string of
consonants as long as your breath holds out and then point at what
you're asking for.
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