Unconscious Comedians by Honoré de Balzac


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Page 19

"I've seen, in coming through France," said Gazonal, "a great many
signs bearing the words: 'Such a one, pupil of Marius.'"

"His pupils have to wash their hands after every head," said Bixiou;
"but Marius does not take them indifferently; they must have nice
hands, and not be ill-looking. The most remarkable for manners,
appearance, and elocution are sent out to dress heads; and they come
back tired to death. Marius himself never turns out except for titled
women; he drives his cabriolet and has a groom."

"But, after all, he is nothing but a barber!" cried Gazonal, somewhat
shocked.

"Barber!" exclaimed Bixiou; "please remember that he is captain in the
National Guard, and is decorated for being the first to spring into a
barricade in 1832."

"And take care what you say to him: he is neither barber, hair-
dresser, nor wig-maker; he is a director of salons for hair-dressing,"
said Leon, as they went up a staircase with crystal balusters and
mahogany rail, the steps of which were covered with a sumptuous
carpet.

"Ah ca! mind you don't compromise us," said Bixiou. "In the
antechamber you'll see lacqueys who will take off your coat, and seize
your hat, to brush them; and they'll accompany you to the door of the
salons to open and shut it. I mention this, friend Gazonal," added
Bixiou, slyly, "lest you might think they were after your property,
and cry 'Stop thief!'"

"These salons," said Leon, "are three boudoirs where the director has
collected all the inventions of modern luxury: lambrequins to the
windows, jardinieres everywhere, downy divans where each customer can
wait his turn and read the newspapers. You might suppose, when you
first go in, that five francs would be the least they'd get out of
your waistcoat pocket; but nothing is ever extracted beyond ten sous
for combing and frizzing your hair, or twenty sous for cutting and
frizzing. Elegant dressing-tables stand about among the jardinieres;
water is laid on to the washstands; enormous mirrors reproduce the
whole figure. Therefore don't look astonished. When the client (that's
the elegant word substituted by Marius for the ignoble word customer),
--when the client appears at the door, Marius gives him a glance which
appraises him: to Marius you are a HEAD, more or less susceptible of
occupying his mind. To him there's no mankind; there are only heads."

"We let you hear Marius on all the notes of his scale," said Bixiou,
"and you know how to follow our lead."

As soon as Gazonal showed himself, the glance was given, and was
evidently favourable, for Marius exclaimed: "Regulus! yours this head!
Prepare it first with the little scissors."

"Excuse me," said Gazonal to the pupil, at a sign from Bixiou. "I
prefer to have my head dressed by Monsieur Marius himself."

Marius, much flattered by this demand, advanced, leaving the head on
which he was engaged.

"I am with you in a moment; I am just finishing. Pray have no
uneasiness, my pupil will prepare you; I alone will decide the cut."

Marius, a slim little man, his hair frizzed like that of Rubini, and
jet black, dressed also in black, with long white cuffs, and the frill
of his shirt adorned with a diamond, now saw Bixiou, to whom he bowed
as to a power the equal of his own.

"That is only an ordinary head," he said to Leon, pointing to the
person on whom he was operating,--"a grocer, or something of that
kind. But if we devoted ourselves to art only, we should lie in
Bicetre, mad!" and he turned back with an inimitable gesture to his
client, after saying to Regulus, "Prepare monsieur, he is evidently an
artist."

"A journalist," said Bixiou.

Hearing that word, Marius gave two or three strokes of the comb to the
ordinary head and flung himself upon Gazonal, taking Regulus by the
arm at the instant that the pupil was about to begin the operation of
the little scissors.

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Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Sun 14th Dec 2025, 22:28