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Page 76
"'Alas!' exclaimed Quen, 'how inferior and ill-contrived is the mind
of a person of my feeble intellectual attainments. Even at this
moment, when the near approach of one who obviously commands every
engaging accomplishment might reasonably be expected to call up within
it an adequate amount of commonplace resource, its ill-destined
possessor finds himself entirely incapable of conducting himself with
the fitting outward marks of his great internal respect. This
residence is certainly unprepossessing in the extreme, yet it contains
many objects of some value and of great rarity; illiterate as this
person is, he would not be so presumptuous as to offer any for your
acceptance, but if you will confer upon him the favour of selecting
that which appears to be the most priceless and unreplaceable, he will
immediately, and with every manifestation of extreme delight, break it
irredeemably in your honour, to prove the unaffected depth of his
gratified emotions.'
"'Quen-Ki-Tong,' replied the person before him, speaking with an
evident sincerity of purpose, 'pleasant to this one's ears are your
words, breathing as they do an obvious hospitality and a due regard
for the forms of etiquette. But if, indeed, you are desirous of
gaining this person's explicit regard, break no articles of fine
porcelain or rare inlaid wood in proof of it, but immediately dismiss
to a very distant spot the three-score gong-beaters who have enclosed
him within two solid rings, and who are now carrying out their duties
in so diligent a manner that he greatly doubts if the unimpaired
faculties of hearing will ever be fully restored. Furthermore, if your
exceedingly amiable intentions desire fuller expression, cause an
unstinted number of vessels of some uninflammable liquid to be
conveyed into your chrysanthemum garden and there poured over the
numerous fireworks and coloured lights which still appear to be in
progress. Doubtless they are well-intentioned marks of respect, but
they caused this person considerable apprehension as he passed among
them, and, indeed, give to this unusually pleasant and unassuming spot
the by no means inviting atmosphere of a low-class tea-house garden
during the festivities attending the birthday of the sacred Emperor.'
"'This person is overwhelmed with a most unendurable confusion that
the matters referred to should have been regarded in such a light,'
replied Quen humbly. 'Although he himself had no knowledge of them
until this moment, he is confident that they in no wise differ from
the usual honourable manifestations with which it is customary in this
Province to welcome strangers of exceptional rank and titles.'
"'The welcome was of a most dignified and impressive nature,' replied
the stranger, with every appearance of not desiring to cause Quen any
uneasy internal doubts; 'yet the fact is none the less true that at
the moment this person's head seems to contain an exceedingly powerful
and well-equipped band; and also, that as he passed through the
courtyard an ingeniously constructed but somewhat unmanageable figure
of gigantic size, composed entirely of jets of many-coloured flame,
leaped out suddenly from behind a dark wall and made an almost
successful attempt to embrace him in its ever-revolving arms. Lo Yuen
greatly fears that the time when he would have rejoiced in the
necessary display of agility to which the incident gave rise has for
ever passed away.'
"'Lo Yuen!' exclaimed Quen, with an unaffected mingling of the
emotions of reverential awe and pleasureable anticipation. 'Can it
indeed be an uncontroversial fact that so learned and ornamental a
person as the renowned Controller of Unsolicited Degrees stands
beneath this inelegant person's utterly unpresentable roof! Now,
indeed, he plainly understands why this ill-conditioned chamber has
the appearance of being filled with a Heaven-sent brilliance, and why
at the first spoken words of the one before him a melodious sound,
like the rushing waters of the sacred Tien-Kiang, seemed to fill his
ears.'
"'Undoubtedly the chamber is pervaded by a very exceptional
splendour,' replied Lo Yuen, who, in spite of his high position,
regarded graceful talk and well-imagined compliments in a spirit of
no-satisfaction; 'yet this commonplace-minded one has a fixed
conviction that it is caused by the crimson-eyed and
pink-fire-breathing dragon which, despite your slave's most assiduous
efforts, is now endeavouring to climb through the aperture behind you.
The noise which still fills his ears, also, resembles rather the
despairing cries of the Ten Thousand Lost Ones at the first sight of
the Pit of Liquid and Red-hot Malachite, yet without question both
proceed from the same cause. Laying aside further ceremony, therefore,
permit this greatly over-estimated person to disclose the object of
his inopportune visit. Long have your amiable virtues been observed
and appreciated by the high ones at Peking, O Quen-Ki-Tong. Too long
have they been unrewarded and passed over in silence. Nevertheless,
the moment of acknowledgement and advancement has at length arrived;
for, as the Book of Verses clearly says, "Even the three-legged mule
may contrive to reach the agreed spot in advance of the others,
provided a circular running space has been selected and the number of
rounds be sufficiently ample." It is this otherwise uninteresting and
obtrusive person's graceful duty to convey to you the agreeable
intelligence that the honourable and not ill-rewarded office of
Guarder of the Imperial Silkworms has been conferred upon you, and to
require you to proceed without delay to Peking, so that fitting
ceremonies of admittance may be performed before the fifteenth day of
the month of Feathered Insects.'
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