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Page 42
"'The shadow falls in such a direction as the sun wills,' said Li
Ting, as he replaced his sword and departed.
"'Yung Chang,' said the merchant, 'I am informed that you have made a
discovery that would be of great value to me, as it undoubtedly would
if it is all that you say. Let us discuss the matter without ceremony.
Can you prove to me that your system possesses the merit you claim for
it? If so, then the matter of arrangement will be easy.'
"'I am convinced of the absolute certainty and accuracy of the
discovery,' replied Yung Chang. 'It is not as though it were an
ordinary matter of human intelligence, for this was discovered to me
as I was worshipping at the tomb of my ancestors. The method is
regulated by a system of squares, triangles, and cubes. But as the
practical proof might be long, and as I hesitate to keep your adorable
daughter out in the damp night air, may I not call at your inimitable
dwelling in the morning, when we can go into the matter thoroughly?'
"I will not weary this intelligent gathering, each member of which
doubtless knows all the books on mathematics off by heart, with a
recital of the means by which Yung Chang proved to Ti Hung the
accuracy of his tables and the value of his discovery of the
multiplication table, which till then had been undreamt of," continued
the story-teller. "It is sufficient to know that he did so, and that
Ti Hung agreed to his terms, only stipulating that Li Ting should not
be made aware of his dismissal until he had returned and given in his
accounts. The share of the profits that Yung was to receive was cut
down very low by Ti Hung, but the young man did not mind that, as he
would live with his father-in-law for the future.
"With the introduction of this new system, the business increased like
a river at flood-time. All rivals were left far behind, and Ti Hung
put out this sign:
"NO WAITING HERE!
"Good-morning! Have you worshipped one of Ti Hung's refined
ninety-nine cash idols?
"Let the purchasers of ill-constructed idols at other
establishments, where they have grown old and venerable while
waiting for the all-thumb proprietors to count up to ten, come to
the shop of Ti Hung and regain their lost youth. Our ninety-nine
cash idols are worth a tael a set. We do not, however, claim that
they will do everything. The ninety-nine cash idols of Ti Hung
will not, for example, purify linen, but even the most contented
and frozen-brained person cannot be happy until he possesses one.
What is happiness? The exceedingly well-educated Philosopher
defines it as the accomplishment of all our desires. Everyone
desires one of the Ti Hung's ninety-nine cash idols, therefore get
one; but be sure that it is Ti Hung's.
"Have you a bad idol? If so, dismiss it, and get one of Ti Hung's
ninety-nine cash specimens.
"Why does your idol look old sooner than your neighbours? Because
yours is not one of Ti Hung's ninety-nine cash marvels.
"They bring all delights to the old and the young,
The elegant idols supplied by Ti Hung.
"N.B.--The 'Great Sacrifice' idol, forty-five cash; delivered,
carriage free, in quantities of not less than twelve, at any
temple, on the evening before the sacrifice.
"It was about this time that Li Ting returned. His journey had been
more than usually successful, and he was well satisfied in
consequence. It was not until he had made out his accounts and handed
in his money that Ti Hung informed him of his agreement with Yung
Chang.
"'Oh, most treacherous and excessively unpopular Ti Hung,' exclaimed
Li Ting, in a terrible voice, 'this is the return you make for all my
entrancing efforts in your services, then? It is in this way that you
reward my exceedingly unconscientious recommendations of your very
inferior and unendurable clay idols, with their goggle eyes and
concave stomachs! Before I go, however, I request to be inspired to
make the following remark--that I confidently predict your ruin. And
now this low and undignified person will finally shake the elegant
dust of your distinguished house from his thoroughly inadequate feet,
and proceed to offer his incapable services to the rival establishment
over the way.'
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