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Page 120
"Then for the first time the horror of my situation
came in its full force. Hitherto I had been acting,
and action had numbed thought. I had been so
confident of regaining the treaty at once that I had
not dared to think of what would be the consequence if
I failed to do so. But now there was nothing more to
be done, and I had leisure to realize my position. It
was horrible. Watson there would tell you that I was
a nervous, sensitive boy at school. It is my nature.
I thought of my uncle and of his colleagues in the
Cabinet, of the shame which I had brought upon him,
upon myself, upon every one connected with me. What
though I was the victim of an extraordinary accident?
No allowance is made for accidents where diplomatic
interests are at stake. I was ruined, shamefully,
hopelessly ruined. I don't know what I did. I fancy
I must have made a scene. I have a dim recollection
of a group of officials who crowded round me,
endeavoring to soothe me. One of them drove down with
me to Waterloo, and saw me into the Woking train. I
believe that he would have come all the way had it not
been that Dr. Ferrier, who lives near me, was going
down by that very train. The doctor most kindly took
charge of me, and it was well he did so, for I had a
fit in the station, and before we reached home I was
practically a raving maniac.
"You can imagine the state of things here when they
were roused from their beds by the doctor's ringing
and found me in this condition. Poor Annie here and
my mother were broken-hearted. Dr. Ferrier had just
heard enough from the detective at the station to be
able to give an idea of what had happened, and his
story did not mend matters. It was evident to all
that I was in for a long illness, so Joseph was
bundled out of this cheery bedroom, and it was turned
into a sick-room for me. Here I have lain, Mr.
Holmes, for over nine weeks, unconscious, and raving
with brain-fever. If it had not been for Miss
Harrison here and for the doctor's care I should not
be speaking to you now. She has nursed me by day and
a hired nurse has looked after me by night, for in my
mad fits I was capable of anything. Slowly my reason
has cleared, but it is only during the last three days
that my memory has quite returned. Sometimes I wish
that it never had. The first thing that I did was to
wire to Mr. Forbes, who had the case in hand. He came
out, and assures me that, though everything has been
done, no trace of a clue has been discovered. The
commissionnaire and his wife have been examined in
every way without any light being thrown upon the
matter. The suspicions of the police then rested upon
young Gorot, who, as you may remember, stayed over
time in the office that night. His remaining behind
and his French name were really the only two points
which could suggest suspicion; but, as a matter of
fact, I did not begin work until he had gone, and his
people are of Huguenot extraction, but as English in
sympathy and tradition as you and I are. Nothing was
found to implicate him in any way, and there the
matter dropped. I turn to you, Mr. Holmes, as
absolutely my last hope. If you fail me, then my
honor as well as my position are forever forfeited."
The invalid sank back upon his cushions, tired out by
this long recital, while his nurse poured him out a
glass of some stimulating medicine. Holmes sat
silently, with his head thrown back and his eyes
closed, in an attitude which might seem listless to a
stranger, but which I knew betokened the most intense
self-absorption.
"You statement has been so explicit," said he at last,
"that you have really left me very few questions to
ask. There is one of the very utmost importance,
however. Did you tell any one that you had this
special task to perform?"
"No one."
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