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Page 81
QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging
to one person is contained in the pocket of another -- usually about
as many times as it can be got there.
R
RABBLE, n. In a republic, those who exercise a supreme authority
tempered by fraudulent elections. The rabble is like the sacred
Simurgh, of Arabian fable -- omnipotent on condition that it do
nothing. (The word is Aristocratese, and has no exact equivalent in
our tongue, but means, as nearly as may be, "soaring swine.")
RACK, n. An argumentative implement formerly much used in persuading
devotees of a false faith to embrace the living truth. As a call to
the unconverted the rack never had any particular efficacy, and is now
held in light popular esteem.
RANK, n. Relative elevation in the scale of human worth.
He held at court a rank so high
That other noblemen asked why.
"Because," 'twas answered, "others lack
His skill to scratch the royal back."
Aramis Jukes
RANSOM, n. The purchase of that which neither belongs to the seller,
nor can belong to the buyer. The most unprofitable of investments.
RAPACITY, n. Providence without industry. The thrift of power.
RAREBIT, n. A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point
out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained
that the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and
that _riz-de-veau a la financiere_ is not the smile of a calf prepared
after the recipe of a she banker.
RASCAL, n. A fool considered under another aspect.
RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded
intellect.
RASH, adj. Insensible to the value of our advice.
"Now lay your bet with mine, nor let
These gamblers take your cash."
"Nay, this child makes no bet." "Great snakes!
How can you be so rash?"
Bootle P. Gish
RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation,
experience and reflection.
RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, _Homo ventrambulans_.
RAZOR, n. An instrument used by the Caucasian to enhance his beauty,
by the Mongolian to make a guy of himself, and by the Afro-American to
affirm his worth.
REACH, n. The radius of action of the human hand. The area within
which it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the
propensity to provide.
This is a truth, as old as the hills,
That life and experience teach:
The poor man suffers that keenest of ills,
An impediment of his reach.
G.J.
READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it
consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and
humor in slang.
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