|
Main
- books.jibble.org
My Books
- IRC Hacks
Misc. Articles
- Meaning of Jibble
- M4 Su Doku
- Computer Scrapbooking
- Setting up Java
- Bootable Java
- Cookies in Java
- Dynamic Graphs
- Social Shakespeare
External Links
- Paul Mutton
- Jibble Photo Gallery
- Jibble Forums
- Google Landmarks
- Jibble Shop
- Free Books
- Intershot Ltd
|
books.jibble.org
Previous Page
| Next Page
Page 75
PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment,
following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is
sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always
solemn.
PHILOSOPHY, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
PHOENIX, n. The classical prototype of the modern "small hot bird."
PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.
PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in
art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite
so good as that of a Cheyenne.
PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp.
It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe
with.
PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs
when well.
PHYSIOGNOMY, n. The art of determining the character of another by
the resemblances and differences between his face and our own, which
is the standard of excellence.
"There is no art," says Shakespeare, foolish man,
"To read the mind's construction in the face."
The physiognomists his portrait scan,
And say: "How little wisdom here we trace!
He knew his face disclosed his mind and heart,
So, in his own defence, denied our art."
Lavatar Shunk
PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It
is operated by pressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the
audience.
PICKANINNY, n. The young of the _Procyanthropos_, or _Americanus
dominans_. It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.
PICTURE, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome
in three.
"Behold great Daubert's picture here on view --
Taken from Life." If that description's true,
Grant, heavenly Powers, that I be taken, too.
Jali Hane
PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains.
Rev. Dr. Mucker
(in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman)
Cold pie is a detestable
American comestible.
That's why I'm done -- or undone --
So far from that dear London.
(from the headstone of a British nobleman in Kalamazoo)
PIETY, n. Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed
resemblance to man.
The pig is taught by sermons and epistles
To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
Judibras
PIG, n. An animal (_Porcus omnivorus_) closely allied to the human
race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is
inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.
Previous Page
| Next Page
|
|