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Page 19
And then came the blessed change. Never tell me that
there is not a Providence! I was on the brink of
perdition. My feet were on the edge. Was it a
coincidence that at that very instant help should come?
No, no, no; there is a Providence, and its hand has
drawn me back. There is something in the universe
stronger than this devil woman with her tricks. Ah,
what a balm to my heart it is to think so!
As I looked up at her I was conscious of a change in
her. Her face, which had been pale before, was now
ghastly. Her eyes were dull, and the lids drooped
heavily over them. Above all, the look of serene
confidence had gone from her features. Her mouth had
weakened. Her forehead had puckered. She was
frightened and undecided. And as I watched the change
my own spirit fluttered and struggled, trying hard to
tear itself from the grip which held it--a grip which,
from moment to moment, grew less secure.
"Austin," she whispered, "I have tried to do too much.
I was not strong enough. I have not recovered yet from
my illness. But I could not live longer without seeing
you. You won't leave me, Austin? This is only a
passing weakness. If you will only give me five
minutes, I shall be myself again. Give me the small
decanter from the table in the window."
But I had regained my soul. With her waning strength
the influence had cleared away from me and left me
free. And I was aggressive--bitterly, fiercely
aggressive. For once at least I could make this woman
understand what my real feelings toward her were. My
soul was filled with a hatred as bestial as the love
against which it was a reaction. It was the savage,
murderous passion of the revolted serf. I could have
taken the crutch from her side and beaten her face in
with it. She threw her hands up, as if to avoid a
blow, and cowered away from me into the corner of the
settee.
"The brandy!" she gasped. "The brandy!"
I took the decanter and poured it over the roots of a
palm in the window. Then I snatched the photograph
from her hand and tore it into a hundred pieces.
"You vile woman," I said, "if I did my duty to society,
you would never leave this room alive!"
"I love you, Austin; I love you!" she wailed.
"Yes," I cried, "and Charles Sadler before. And how
many others before that?"
"Charles Sadler!" she gasped. "He has spoken to you?
So, Charles Sadler, Charles Sadler!" Her voice came
through her white lips like a snake's hiss.
"Yes, I know you, and others shall know you, too. You
shameless creature! You knew how I stood. And yet you
used your vile power to bring me to your side. You
may, perhaps, do so again, but at least you will
remember that you have heard me say that I love Miss
Marden from the bottom of my soul, and that I loathe
you, abhor you!
"The very sight of you and the sound of your voice fill
me with horror and disgust. The thought of you is
repulsive. That is how I feel toward you, and if it
pleases you by your tricks to draw me again to your
side as you have done to-night, you will at least, I
should think, have little satisfaction in trying to
make a lover out of a man who has told you his real
opinion of you. You may put what words you will into
my mouth, but you cannot help remembering----"
I stopped, for the woman's head had fallen back, and
she had fainted. She could not bear to hear what I had
to say to her! What a glow of satisfaction it gives me
to think that, come what may, in the future she can
never misunderstand my true feelings toward her. But
what will occur in the future? What will she do next?
I dare not think of it. Oh, if only I could hope that
she will leave me alone! But when I think of what I
said to her---- Never mind; I have been stronger than
she for once.
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