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Page 68
"Yet I fear that the same feelings now exist that made you so
miserable a year ago, even perhaps augmented by time. I would not
disturb you at this period, when so many misfortunes weigh upon you,
but a conversation that I had with my uncle previous to his departure
renders some explanation necessary before we meet. Explanation! You
may possibly say, What can Elizabeth have to explain? If you really
say this, my questions are answered and all my doubts satisfied. But
you are distant from me, and it is possible that you may dread and yet
be pleased with this explanation; and in a probability of this being
the case, I dare not any longer postpone writing what, during your
absence, I have often wished to express to you but have never had the
courage to begin.
"You well know, Victor, that our union had been the favourite
plan of your parents ever since our infancy. We were told this
when young, and taught to look forward to it as an event that would
certainly take place. We were affectionate playfellows during
childhood, and, I believe, dear and valued friends to one another
as we grew older. But as brother and sister often entertain a
lively affection towards each other without desiring a more
intimate union, may not such also be our case? Tell me, dearest
Victor. Answer me, I conjure you by our mutual happiness, with
simple truth--Do you not love another?
"You have travelled; you have spent several years of your life
at Ingolstadt; and I confess to you, my friend, that when I saw you
last autumn so unhappy, flying to solitude from the society of
every creature, I could not help supposing that you might regret
our connection and believe yourself bound in honour to fulfil the
wishes of your parents, although they opposed themselves to your
inclinations. But this is false reasoning. I confess to you, my
friend, that I love you and that in my airy dreams of futurity you
have been my constant friend and companion. But it is your
happiness I desire as well as my own when I declare to you that our
marriage would render me eternally miserable unless it were the
dictate of your own free choice. Even now I weep to think that,
borne down as you are by the cruellest misfortunes, you may stifle,
by the word `honour,' all hope of that love and happiness which
would alone restore you to yourself. I, who have so disinterested
an affection for you, may increase your miseries tenfold by being
an obstacle to your wishes. Ah! Victor, be assured that your
cousin and playmate has too sincere a love for you not to be made
miserable by this supposition. Be happy, my friend; and if you
obey me in this one request, remain satisfied that nothing on
earth will have the power to interrupt my tranquillity.
"Do not let this letter disturb you; do not answer tomorrow,
or the next day, or even until you come, if it will give you pain.
My uncle will send me news of your health, and if I see but one
smile on your lips when we meet, occasioned by this or any other
exertion of mine, I shall need no other happiness.
"Elizabeth Lavenza
"Geneva, May 18th, 17--"
This letter revived in my memory what I had before forgotten, the
threat of the fiend--"I WILL BE WITH YOU ON YOUR WEDDING-NIGHT!" Such
was my sentence, and on that night would the daemon employ every art to
destroy me and tear me from the glimpse of happiness which promised
partly to console my sufferings. On that night he had determined to
consummate his crimes by my death. Well, be it so; a deadly struggle
would then assuredly take place, in which if he were victorious I
should be at peace and his power over me be at an end. If he were
vanquished, I should be a free man. Alas! What freedom? Such as the
peasant enjoys when his family have been massacred before his eyes, his
cottage burnt, his lands laid waste, and he is turned adrift, homeless,
penniless, and alone, but free. Such would be my liberty except that in
my Elizabeth I possessed a treasure, alas, balanced by those horrors of
remorse and guilt which would pursue me until death.
Sweet and beloved Elizabeth! I read and reread her letter, and some
softened feelings stole into my heart and dared to whisper paradisiacal
dreams of love and joy; but the apple was already eaten, and the
angel's arm bared to drive me from all hope. Yet I would die to make
her happy. If the monster executed his threat, death was inevitable;
yet, again, I considered whether my marriage would hasten my fate. My
destruction might indeed arrive a few months sooner, but if my torturer
should suspect that I postponed it, influenced by his menaces, he would
surely find other and perhaps more dreadful means of revenge.
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