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Page 17
Thus, taking the Laughing Hyena as the next illustration, it will be
remembered by all students of GOLDSMITH'S _Animated Nature_, that this
amiable quadruped invariably exercises his risibles when he is crunching
the bones of some other less truculent quadruped. It is "solitary,
cruel, and untamable, digs its food out of graves," cachinnating the
while like a thousand or fifteen hundred of brick. There are other
ravenous beasts in the world; but this one is peculiar in that he laughs
over his work, which is also his pastime. Now, if you wish to hear a Boy
laugh--a horse-laugh, a giant-laugh--just put some other animal, human
or otherwise, through a course of torture. Twist a pig's tail until it
comes out; or, if you don't like the occupation, the Boy will cheerfully
do it--and will drown the squeal of the porker in his own uproarious
merriment. What do you suppose were the age and sex of the inventor of
the game called "Tying a tin kettle to a dog's tail?" And do you suppose
this inventor stood by, in silent gravity, to witness the success of the
experiment? The yelp of the astounded dog, and the clatter of the
kitchen utensil so strangely misplaced, were doubtless swallowed up in
the loud guffaws of the Laughing Hyena on two legs.
Another link is discovered in the person of the useful and ornamental
domestic animal who is popularly supposed to furnish the material for
sausages. The accidental discovery of a suspender-button, or the claw of
a kitten, in the sausage, gave rise to some doubt as to the composition
of this favorite edible; but statisticians usually admit that hogmeat
forms the staple. Doctor KANE speaks in glowing terms of the excellence
of rats when mixed with due proportions of walrus blubber, and cut out
in frozen chunks, probably with a cold-chisel. Why this fierce rodent
should make more savory meat than the innocent kitten, does not appear.
The latter is certainly much nicer to play with, in the ante-mortem
state. But this is a digression. Returning, therefore, not to the
mutton, but to the pork, consider the distinctive habits of both pig and
Boy at meal-time, and see how nearly identical they are. Watch the
innocent in bristles as he places his graceful right paw upon the ear of
corn, while he shells and masticates. Turn to the innocent in
broadcloth, and notice how he clutches the succulent turkey-leg, and how
rapidly he polishes the femoral bone. Throw a second ear of the cereal
in the trough, and observe how promptly the left paw secures it, lest it
should be transformed into lard through the agency of a companion pig.
Place the other turkey-leg, both wings, three slices of breast, the
side-bone and plenty of "stuffin'" within reach of the other embryo, and
notice the glare of his famished eye, if some other plate than his is
presented. You would fancy he had been exploring the route of another
ship-canal across the Isthmus of Darien, and had tasted no food for
twenty-two days.
Neither are the post-prandial habits of the two animals under
consideration dissimilar. The corn-cracker betakes himself to some sunny
spot, where there is abundance of mud, and aids digestion by wallowing.
So does the Boy, especially if he is in dinner costume. If the quadruped
can get into a garden and root up unreplaceable flowers and fruits,
before he retires to his lair, his bliss is perfect. So the Boy; if he
can manage to break two or three windows, tear his best clothes into
ribbons, chase the family cat up a tree with hound, whoop, and halloo,
and then stone her out of it, and, as she with thickened tail scampers
to some more secure retreat, follow her with hoots and missiles--he also
retires, conscious that the day has not been wasted. And, finally, upon
this parallelism betwixt Pig and _Puer_ one patent point of resemblance
may be mentioned. Rouse up a pig, any hour of the day or night, with his
maw full to the gullet, and offer him a little more, another ear of
corn, another bucket of swill, and you will be sure of his prompt
acceptance. And place before a boy, immediately after an astounding
dinner, if you choose, any thing edible, apples, cakes, pudding, or cold
potatoes, and if _his_ maw will not accommodate the additional stowage,
you send for the doctor, knowing that the dear child is ill, that the
symptoms are novel, and that the case is urgent.
The reference to the history of METHUSELAH with which this paper began
was not without a purpose. It was to suggest the inquiry whether or not
the _vim_ which prolonged his days would have sufficed to bring him
through _two_ courses of Boyhood. It is not unusual to hear grown people
talk of "living their youthful days over again;" but the examples of
those who have gone through this ordeal are very rare. The amount of
wear and tear, the expenditure of vital force, involved in the transit
from infancy to manhood cannot be estimated. The abrasions of later life
do not compare with the rubs of Boyhood, because none of the aids of
experience and philosophy are attainable by the tyro, who lives upon his
inherent _vis vitae_, as his kinsman in the frozen zone subsists upon
his own fat during long intervals of torpidity.
* * * * *
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