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Page 12
* * * * *
Apropos of Susan B. Anthony.
"Was ever woman in this humor One?"
* * * * *
A Gale Brewing.
Boston is agitating a reproduction of the Coliseum, and GILMORE hints at
an orchestra of three thousand, with eighteen hundred _wind_
instruments. A gale far more disastrous than that memorable southeaster
of last autumn may therefore be expected.
* * * * *
[Illustration: WOMAN IN WALL STREET _Lady Broker, (to applicant for
stock.)_ "O DEAR, DEAR! HOW CAN I ATTEND TO BUSINESS WHEN I'VE THE BABY
TO MIND?"]
* * * * *
CHAT ABOUT RAILROADS.
PARTIES: _A Simpleton from the Wilderness, and a Misanthropic Traveller.
[The Simpleton asks for information.]_
"They say that railroads now an't safe.
Say, mister, how is that?"
It comes of "accidents," my friend--
Where cheap rails spread out flat,
Cheap axles break, cheap boilers burst,
Cheap trestle-work gives way:
No wonder, when you think of that,
They kill a man a day!
Well, folks must travel; must go fast;
Must take the cars--and risk;
They can't afford a Special Train,
Like VANDERBILT or FISK;
They know a curve that's pretty sharp,
A bank that's pretty steep,
Rocks that may roll upon the track,
"Sleepers" that never sleep;
Here was a "smash-up" not long since,
That killed about a score;
Two trains "collided" yesterday,
And maimed a dozen more.
But, go they must--by railroad, too,
And all its risks defy:
For no American believes
That _he_ will ever die!
_[The Simpleton, with open mouth, further questions the Traveller.]_
"In God's name, citizen, pray tell
How this can go on, so!"
You ask a simple thing, my friend,
As I will quickly show.
_Directors know their countrymen,_
And _that_ is why we bleed:
So long as nothing's done to them,
The slaughter will proceed.
It's so in coal-mines, so in mills;
It's so on steamboats, too;
We're killed by hundreds, every year:
But what's a man to do?
These harpies make our laws for us--
Or do so through their tools:
No doubt we seem to all the world
A wretched pack of fools!
We are so busy! We've _no time_
To see that all is right!
We'll give the danger all our thoughts--
The moment its in sight!
Cheap iron and cheap souls, my friend,
Have cursed us all along.
But what possesses you, good friend?
I'm sure there's nothing wrong!
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