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Page 64
DOCTOR. Listen, Caesar, you're a lunatic in my charge, and you must
avoid speaking about intelligence as much as you can.
CAESAR. That's the greatest impertinence I've heard for a long
time. Don't you realise, idiot, that I've been engaged to look
after you, since you lost your wits?
PROFESSOR (taping his goblet). Gentlemen!
CAESAR. Hear, hear!
PROFESSOR. Gentlemen! Our small society is to-day honoured by the
presence of the great man, who is our guest of honour, and when the
committee ...
CAESAR (to the DOCTOR). That's the government, you know!
PROFESSOR. ... and when the committee asked me to act as
interpreter and to explain the motives that prompted them I was at
first doubtful whether I could accept the honour. But when I
compared my own incapacity with that of others, I discovered that
neither lost in the comparison.
VOICES. Bravo!
PROFESSOR. Gentlemen! A century of discovery is ending with the
greatest of all discoveries--foreseen by Pythagoras, prepared for
by Albertus and Paracelsus and first carried out by our guest of
honour. You will permit me to give this feeble expression of our
admiration for the greatest man of a great century. A laurel crown
from the society! (He places a laurel frown on the STRANGER'S
head.) And from the committee: this! (He hangs a shining order
round the STRANGER'S neck.) Gentlemen! Three cheers for the Great
Man who has made gold!
ALL (with the exception of the STRANGER). Hurrah!
(The band plays chords from Mendelssohn's Dead March. During the
last part of the foregoing speech servants have exchanged the
golden goblets for dull tin ones, and they now begin to take away
the pheasants, peacocks, etc. The music plays softly. General
conversation.)
CAESAR. Oughtn't we to taste these things before they take them
away?
DOCTOR. It all seems humbug, except that about making gold.
STRANGER (knocking on the table). Gentlemen! I've always been
proud of the fact that I'm not easy to deceive ...
CAESAR. Hear, hear!
STRANGER. ... that I'm not easily carried away, but I am touched at
the sincerity so obvious in the great tribute you've just paid me;
and when I say touched, I mean it.
CAESAR. Bravo!
STRANGER. There are always sceptics; and moments in the life of
every man, when doubts creep into the hearts of even the strongest.
I'll confess that I myself have doubted; but after finding myself
the object this sincere and hearty demonstration, and after taking
part in this royal feast, for it is royal; and seeing that,
finally, the government itself ...
VOICE. The committee!
STRANGER. ... the committee, if you like, has so signally
recognised my modest merits, I doubt no longer, but believe! (The
Civil Uniform creeps out.) Yes, gentlemen, this is the greatest and
most satisfying moment of my life, because it has given me back
the greatest thing any man can possess, the belief in himself.
CAESAR. Splendid! Bravo!
STRANGER. I thank you. Your health!
(The PROFESSOR gets up. Everyone rises and the company begins to
mix. Most of the musicians go out, but two remain.)
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