The Road to Damascus by August Strindberg


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Page 39

MOTHER. It was a horse in the stable.

STRANGER. Why should it make that noise?

MOTHER. Some animals have nightmares.

STRANGER. What are nightmares?

MOTHER. Who knows?

STRANGER. May I sit down?

MOTHER. Do. I want to speak seriously to you. I was malicious last
night; you must forgive me. It's because of that I need religion;
just as I need the penitential garment and the stone floor. To
spare you, I'll tell you what nightmares are to me. My bad
conscience! Whether I punish myself or another punishes me, I don't
know. I don't permit myself to ask. (Pause.) Now tell me what you
saw in your room.

STRANGER. I hardly know. Nothing. When I went in I felt as if
someone were there. Then I went to bed. But someone started pacing
up and down above me with a heavy tread. Do you believe in ghosts?

MOTHER. My religion won't allow me to. But I believe our sense of
right and wrong will find a way to punish us.

STRANGER. Soon I felt cold air on my breast--it reached my heart
and forced me to get up.

MOTHER. And then?

STRANGER. To stand and watch the whole panorama of my life unroll
before me. I saw everything--that was the worst of it.

MOTHER. I know. I've been through it. There's no name for the
malady, and only one cure.

STRANGER. What is it?

MOTHER. You know what children do when they've done wrong?

STRANGER. What?

MOTHER. First ask forgiveness!

STRANGER. And then?

MOTHER. Try to make amends.

STRANGER. Isn't it enough to suffer according to one's deserts?

MOTHER. No. That's revenge.

STRANGER. Then what must one do?

MOTHER. Can you mend a life you've destroyed? Undo a bad action?

STRANGER. Truly, no. But I was forced into it! Forced to take, for
no one gave me the right. Accurs�d be He who forced me! (Putting
his hand to his heart.) Ah! He's here, in this room. He's plucking
out my heart!

MOTHER. Then bow your head.

STRANGER. I cannot.

MOTHER. Down on your knees.

STRANGER. I will not.

MOTHER. Christ have mercy! Lord have mercy on you! On your knees
before Him who was crucified! Only He can wipe out what's been
done.

STRANGER. Not before Him! If I were forced, I'll recant ...
afterwards.

MOTHER. On your knees, my son!

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Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Sat 17th Jan 2026, 4:06